canceroustears Post Count: 210 |
I had a lunch from hell, due to the brats, I'm sorry, kids sitting behind me. It made me question a couple things -
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant? Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. |
Mommy to 3+1 Post Count: 18 |
1. No, it's not cute at all. A temper tantrum is NEVER cute, no matter where it's being thrown. I do get a little annoyed, but more at the parent for not taking their child OUT than the child for having the fit.
2. I feel it's the responsible thing to do to remove your child from the situation. If my child throws a fit in a restaurant or a store, I take them outside to the vehicle and let them sit in there and throw their fit until they are ready to behave. ALL children need discipline. My children (14 yrs, 11 yrs, 1 yr) are the cutest in the world, and if my children aren't too cute for discipline, NO child is too cute for discipline. I can't answer for going to the movie, because very rarely do I spend money on a movie in the theater. 3. It does not annoy me when someone complains. They have every right to complain. 4. I have never come across a restaurant with the "No children under 6" rule. It doesn't bother me if that's what they want to do. They have every right to set an age limitation on the establishment. I just won't go there. No big deal. I mean, is their food really THAT GOOD that I MUST eat there instead of some other place that DOES allow children under 6? |
starsmaycollide Post Count: 408 |
Disobedient kids are never cute in public places before or after you have a child of your own. It's not fair to anyone.
Mind you, as a parent of a 1 year old, there is definitely a difference between disobedient and just being a baby (meaning momentary fussing that gets taken care of/dealt with.) My kid has never screamed throughout anyone's dinner in public, to be clear- and never will. If we have that much of an issue we won't go out or if something happened while we are out, I'd remove him and myself from the area. Bringing small children in movies they shouldn't see is obnoxious. As for rules, it's a restaurant's right to do what they want. Some places are fine for kids, and others aren't. People should know the difference, but I can see why they might make up a rule for the idiots who don't get it. |
True Post Count: 101 |
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant?
Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? • It depends on the age of the child & the situation. Every kid is different, as are the parents. If it's a toddler it's understandable. I get more annoyed by parents who don't try to resolve an issue than I do toward the obviously unhappy toddler. If it is a child above the toddler stage, chances are they either want something or they don't want to comply with their parents' requests/commands. Still though, a child that young is not fully at fault unlike their parent(s). I'm a believer in "time out", I will not scream at my son in public (or at home for the most part), I will never spank my child in public (again, he doesn't receive this at home either), but I will more than likely quickly remove him from where ever he is/we are standing in the store and I walk him outside to the car, or depending on where we are when he decides to throw a tantrum, sometimes I will find a clear spot against the building outside and he will sit there until he calms down, stops crying, and apologizes for his bad behavior. I can't stand it when I see an older child throwing a tantrum (for whatever reason), but even then- it annoys me more to see their parent(s) allow it to happen, period. I really all depends on the situation though. 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined... • Hell no, what kind of a mind set is that? "He's too cute, so I'm just going to let him be a little shithead. Awwww, look at him!! Let him throw his little fit! It's so golly-gosh darn adorable!!!" Um... WTF?! Parents who think like that and actually do that are in for some hard years ahead of them. Serious problems due to lack of discipline. If a child is old enough to know better, they should act accordingly. It's simple logic. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? • I would be pretty annoyed. Personally, if it's an "adult" movie, regardless of whether the child being exposed to it can talk or communicate what is playing on the screen, it's not ok. adult films (R-rated) are for a mature crowd for a reason. If someone brought their young child, or baby to a rated-R film & the damn kid began crying or making enough noise to disrupt the movie and or those around them- making it difficult for me to watch and enjoy the movie that I payed 20$+ to see (snacks, drinks, ticket fare), I would wait approx 5 mins before saying something to the one who brought the kid. If it continued on further, I would contact a theater manager or staff member and request that they're both removed, or I would request a refund. Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? Wasted? No, not "wasted". 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. • I understand this from both positions (we weren't born parents). Yes, this actually DOES annoy the hell out of me. Unless you are or have been a parent to a child yourself, you should stick a sock in it. You are only ignorant & inexperienced and not only do you lack knowledge of what it's like to be a parent, but also what it's like to take your child to dinner/lunch/breakfast and then have your child get a tummy ache (causing crying) or they feel excited & over-joyed to be eating somewhere other than the dinner table, surrounded by kids and people whom they've never met & don't know (and don't always feel comfortable around). Parents are responsible for their children & accountable for their behavior. Children who are of age to act appropriately in a public establishment need to be taught to act right. If they do not act right they should be removed from those places and reminded of what is expected of them while they are visiting those places. Following directions & being respectful should be an easy thing for a kid to do. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? It doesn't offend me, but I think it's bullshit. 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. • It's like this: the world doesn't revolve around any one person. If you visit a PUBLIC ESTABLISHMENT for what ever reason, you need to understand that you do not control the demographics of that establishment. There are such things like "private booths", "cabanas", "reserved tables" which are available for a reason. If a child comes up to your table in the midst of your romantic dinner and does something to annoy you, or if they're just there interupting you, I think it's safe to say that it's hardly the child's fault at all. I would be asking myself "Where in God's name is this child's gardian!" I wouldn't blame the child though, as it would be obvious to me that the parent(s) aren't doing their job very well. Parents are supposed to keep track of their child(ren). Under 10, the parents are 100% accountable and responsible. 11 years old and up- I would be expecting more from the child(ren). They should know to: 1. Avoid contact with strangers 2. Never intentionally interupt someone's conversation/dinner 3. Stay close enough to their parents/gardian so that they do not find themselves in trouble. • • • I blame a lot of parents, more than their children for the behavior they exhibit. I hate watching a mom scream or yell at her kid(s) in public, and even more so I hate watching a parent give into a child throwing a tantrum just to shut them up. Seriously? That kid just slapped and screamed at her mother, and she walked out of the store with a candy bar/doll/ [insert child silencer toy/sugary treat here]?! Then again, I almost came COMPLETELY F*CKING UNGLUED at a grocery store once. This family of 3 walked into the store as I was walking out. The mother was on her cell phone, the youngest kid was being cute & TRYING TO HELP by pushing the cart (he was a doll) to help his mommy, and the older kid was walking next to the younger kid pushing the cart. The youngest boy was having difficulty moving the cart across the textured floor mat in front of the auto-matic doors and he stopped for a brief moment to try to correct it, the mom (still wearing her cell phone on her face) reached down & slapped the cute little boy IN THE FACE (think chin, mostly his nose, and his eye) and yelled at him for being stupid!!! OMG, the kids were so scared of her (she was a skinny tweaker mexi-barbie on crack looking kind of woman) and I felt so terrible for them!!! My entire body turned bright red & it took everything in me to walk away without handing that women her own ass!!! I wanted to curb check her!!! The ONLY reason I left it alone was due to how upset the kids were. They were so sweet & well mannered!!! Parents like that... piss me the hell off • • • |
lithium layouts. Post Count: 836 |
1. I'm not a parent, but I think I would experience a combination of understanding, but at the same time thinking "Why aren't the parents disciplining their kids enough? How did they let it get to this point?"
1a - Definitely not ignore. I think that if your kid is becoming unmanageable, remove them (and yourself) from the situation, to a calmer, more private place, to diffuse the tantrum. 2. I would be annoyed. xD Not feel that my money was wasted... but I'd be irritated by it. It's never actually happened to me though. I've had teenagers talk and be stupid throughout a movie, but never a small child. And despite the annoyance, I still managed to enjoy the movie. 3. A bit of both... depends on how they broach the subject - whether they do it calmly or obnoxiously. 4. I can understand it. But I'm 25 and without a family. xD Not sure how I'd feel if I was married with kids. I guess if I really wanted to go to such a restaurant, I'd get someone to babysit. Besides, businesses can run themselves however they want. I'm not anyone to tell them otherwise, with or without kids. 4a - What is a customer's child doing at a restaurant with no kids under 6? xD But I think it would be different. There's a difference between someone else's kid annoying you momentarily, and having to constantly supervise your own kids on a night out in a strange environment. I think I'd be okay with it. |
queenbutterfly Post Count: 425 |
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant?
Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? I feel for the parents. I have a four-year-old and a nine-month-old and I know what it's like to have a child throw a tantrum. And not because I am a horrible mom either. My daughter has behavioral issues due to circumstances in life, and not excusing her behavior, but sometimes a situation IS NOT what it seems. 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined. I don't think a parent should ignore the child while they are throwing a tantrum; their are things that parents can do out in public to help their child and those things need to be done. I also think that OTHER parents need to STAY OUT of the situation unless they are asked. I have had other parents, some older, some younger try and offer a hand when in reality they ONLY made the situation worse. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? Both. I understand, sometimes, bringing a child to an adult movie. Really depending on the age. I have never brought my children to an adult movie after they were one. It's just not appropriate. If I were attending an adult movie and the child was older than one I am not shy to ask the other parent to bring the child out or to go out and ask for my money back so I can attend another showing. They almost aways give me a refund or a free ticket for another time. 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. Both. IT ANNOYS ME. You don't have children so you have no idea. Right? Right. But I also understand them because they want to enjoy themselves, but come on. There are hundreds of thousands of children in this world, we cannot child proof everything. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? It offends me. And I would never eat in a restaurant that had such a rule. I understand a 21 + bar/restaurant due to alcohol or entertainment but a FAMILY restaurant who doesn't want an entire family to eat? COME ON. 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. I would feel the same way. My husband travels a lot, so when I want to do something my children all have to come with me. If someone where to come up to my table and say, "You ruined my first date out in months by your children being here," I would look them in the eye and say, "You know what? It's wonderful you get a date, but I never get a date because my husband is always gone. And when he's home he's working, because we don't have the luxury or extra money for sitters to go out and do what we want, so let me enjoy my DARN DINNER in peace without YOU bothering me.." or something of that sort. If you know what I mean. |
Lovin'MyLittles Post Count: 322 |
1) Kids have temper tantrums. I don't know the cause of it. It could be sleep deprivation, could be teething, could be changes in their family life (a move, a death, etc). I've learned not to be so quick to judge other parents.
1a) I think if the parent ignores it for a few moments and the child reacts well, that's great. If the parent is ignoring it for several minutes while said child screams bloody murder in the middle of a public place, then no. I don't understand that. 2) A small child shouldn't be in a movie unless it's a child's movie aimed for THAT group. My son is 16 months. I cannot tell you how many movies are out or coming out that I want to go see, but unless I have a sitter, we won't be going. 3) If the child being spoken about is truly unruly then it doesn't bother me -- but I DO feel that your level of tolerance goes up when you have your own kids. 4) I don't care. If they don't want to provide service to young children, I don't care. It doesn't offend me. Honestly, I wish we had a local restaurant that was no kids under 6. I'd love to go there on a date night. It never fails, my Hubs and I go out on a date and get sat next to kids close to our child's age. LOL Date = FAIL. 4a)Haha, see my above question! It never fails that my DH and I always end up next to a screaming baby or toddler. It doesn't bother me, but it makes me laugh. The irony, eh? |
Avonlea@ITW Post Count: 53 |
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant? Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? There is nothing cute about a disobedient child. It drives me absolutely crazy, and I get extremely annoyed. It's not quite as bad now that I'm a mother, because it makes me glad I went through all of the work it takes to make sure my kids behave; I guess it's proof that all of that work was worth it. 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined. No, I'm even more annoyed. When I see a parent ignoring their child's misbehavior I wonder if it's due to laziness, incompetence, or if they've bought into the whole "let them be free to express themselves" mentality. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? These questions are getting a bit redundant. It's annoying. I'd ask the ushers to do something about it. 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. No. It doesn't annoy me. I don't see why a person's status as a parent or non-parent has anything to do with them being annoyed at rude people. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? I think it's sad, because there are some of us who have children under the age of six who know how to behave properly. I do understand why a restaurant owner would make a decision like that, though, considering what kids are allowed to get away with in this country. 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. N/A |
Naomiistrying Post Count: 1 |
Thank you for this! I am irritated with children like this, but more so with the parents. Not taking responsibility for their childs behavior is foolish at worst and dangerous at best. I have a toddler and though I struggle with just how far I can take it in public with him when he pushes it.. he knows for the most part that I am not joking and I will lay the law down if need be. I don't empty promise/threat if he chooses to walk all over the rules/authority. Just like adults don't get let off the hook.. similarly.. if a child hits, yells etc... you repremand them and follow through with something tangible for them to remember not to do the behavior again... (Hopefully). Wow.. I think I just had my own self revelation... lol
|
Jessica Post Count: 283 |
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant?
Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? Usually when I first see a kid starting to cry, I'm not usually annoyed (depends on the day). But if the kid continues to keep on throwing tantrums or something, then I'll get annoyed. I understand that all children have tantrums, and I usually have quite a bit of patience. But after awhile enough is just enough. 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined. To an extent I agree with ignoring their cries for attention. And if I see a parent doing that, I'm like 'hell yeah. Shut up kid!' But if the kid keeps crying for like 5+ minutes and the parent continues ignoring them, then that's just being rude. I think that parents need to teach their children how to behave in public. Every child is different, and so there's no "method" for teaching them that. I think that all children need discipline, otherwise you just have bratty children running amok. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? this has happened to me before. And like I did then, I would say something to the parent. A simple 'excuse me, I don't mean to be out of line, but I'm trying to hear the movie, and it's a little hard for me to hear because of your son/daughter making noise.' That particular person apologized and left the theater with their kid. (granted she gave him a nice kick in the ass on the way out ;D) If I was still able to enjoy a majority of the movie, I wouldn't feel like my money was wasted. 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. I absolutely HATE when other people voice their opinions on how someone else's children should be raised/disciplined/etc. They don't know how that child's day went. Maybe they have an ear infection. Maybe they didn't get a chance to take a nap. Maybe they have a stomach ache. Maybe they're all constipated and working up an exploding poo. I understand completely why they're irritated, but I do wish that people would take the time to look at things from the other side of the fence. Because if they're annoyed, the parent is just as annoyed. And in most cases, embarrassed by their child's behavior. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of. All people were young children/babies. We are born, and we grow. How can you BAN something you once were? That's like banning someone because they're picky about what they order. STUPID. People need to get over it. Anger management or something, people. 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. Wouldn't bother me. I like kids, and I'm good with kids. I'm the kind of person that would try to console said kid, and take them back over to their parents. Then return to the table gushing about how bad I felt for the kid. I like kids. I don't get to the point where I'm ever just wanting to be rid of kids. |
Estella Post Count: 1779 |
I'm not a parent, but I know many parents who think having child-free restaurants is a positive thing, and I totally agree. Different restaurants have different atmospheres and are aimed at different clientele. It makes sense to have some restaurants that are family-friendly (that have children's menus, that openly accept children, and even have play areas for children) and others that are adult-only. It's fairer to the children and their parents, and also to the other customers. It actually reduces the likelihood of people complaining about the children's behaviour/noise, because you know beforehand what sort of restaurant you're going to and what to expect.
I remember very clearly being a child, and it's no fun being in a place which ostensibly accepts children but isn't actually friendly towards them, and where you get dirty looks and rude comments because of your behaviour. And now, as an adult with a sensory disability, where noise can physically hurt me at times, I very much appreciate knowing beforehand whether a place is a family-oriented or adult-only, so I can make an informed decision and look after my own health. As for temper tantrums, you never know whether it's a deliberate temper tantrum, or a meltdown due to disability/illness/trauma. And of course what works with one child won't necessarily work with another. I therefore don't judge outward behaviour, especially as I was a child that people often incorrectly judged as having 'temper tantrums'. But if it is very loud, then I prefer it to be happening far away from me! Therefore adult-only options are important. |
queenbutterfly Post Count: 425 |
I really enjoyed your opinion pingu! Especally your last paragraphy as I am the mother a "special needs" child. (My daughter has special emotional needs).
|
Estella Post Count: 1779 |
Glad you enjoyed it, queenbutterfly. I know quite a few mothers of autistic children, who get a lot of ignorant judgemental comments and stares in response to their child's 'bad behaviour', so am aware of how impossible it is to judge a family you don't know simply from outward behaviour, and the possible harm of doing so.
|
& skull. Post Count: 1701 |
honestly i rarely go out to child friendly places. if i am going out for tea it's usually at a pub at anywhere from 9pm - 11pm, so it's usually pretty safe that there will be no kids. unless the kid has really sucky parents [i have seen quite a small child at a pub at midnight, because the parents wanted a beer and to play pool. the fuck?].
i understand that kids wig out sometimes. they might be having a shitty day, tired, hungry, sick, in pain. i can sympathise with those parents, and hope they can calm their kid for the kid's sake rather than ignoring the poor bugger. it's when kids are running around screaming because they find it amusing that it pisses me off. or going batshit because they got told they couldn't have something or do something or to stop doing something. if you can't stop your kid from just straight up being a little asshole, then don't go out with them to places where adult folk might want to just enjoy their meal or movie in peace. it's the parents that don't care that their child's behaving like that that get me. if my butt left the chair to do anything other than to go to the kid area in a resturaunt or the toilet i would get death glares from my parents. |
lithium layouts. Post Count: 836 |
@Ev along the note of parents doing crazy shit with their kids, I heard a story in a tutorial (about paediatric age-appropriate diets) that a mother once fed her younger-than-6-month-old KFC. KFC!! Kids are barely starting solids at 6 months, let alone hardcore terrible processed meat.
|
& skull. Post Count: 1701 |
not really surprised at that. sounds like the bogan thing to do.
|
Jessica Post Count: 283 |
@Ev: THANK YOU! I always got that damn death glare if I misbehaved. And I NEVER wanted to act out because of it.
Death glare works wonders! |
sumamen Post Count: 180 |
1. How do other parents feel when they see another person's child having a temper tantrum in a restaurant?
Is it cute, do you understand, do you not care or do you get annoyed with it? I can not stand to be in a place of anykind when a child is throwing a fit. Whether it be at a restaurant, church, grocery store etcc..drives me crazy. It is NOT cute. I get annoyed really quick. 1a - Do you feel the same way when the parent decides to ignore the child's cry for attention, at the expense of everyone else around them? I want to slap the parents..LOL Do you think that they should be trying to control their children, or are all children just so cute that they don't need to be disciplined. they need to be taken outside and dealt with. 2. How would you feel if you're paying for a movie and someone brings their small child along, to the adult movie, and the child talks or cries all through it? I would go get an usher to usher them OUT. Do you feel like your money was wasted due to the child, or do you just sit back and feel like you're at home? wasted. 3. When a non-parent complains about the noise level of some children in restaurants, or says something about the lack of respect for fellow customers due to the way the child is allowed to behave, does that annoy you? Or are you able to understand how it can be annoying to them, and why they are irritated. Doesn't annoy me, because I don't know what other people are doing. 4. What do you think about some restaurants who have the "No children under 6" rule? Is it something you can agree with or understand, or is it something that offends you? Never heard of that..but it's a good idea..LOL 4a - If you think it's offensive, would you feel the same way if you had your first available date in months, got a babysitter so you could have adult time - and had another customer's child come up to your table and disrupt your meal (which I had before) or start having a meltdown, which means that you never really had the adult time you were hoping for, but you still have to pay for the food. I think it's a lack of courtesy from the parents. If my child, who is autistic, was to start being disruptive, I would take him out, until he has calmed down. I can't imagine sitting there while Kevin is freaking out, or crying etc...not fair to the other customers..ya know? |