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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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Active Duty Women Getting Pregnant.. Ok or not?
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15 Jul 2010, 11:10
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
As a woman who was active duty and got pregnant I can tell you it is okay. I did not set out to get pregnant on purpose. But it happened. I arrived to my unit while it was already deployed and I was already with our rear detatchment (the ppl that stayed behind to work for the unit and keep things running "at home" while it was deployed) so I wasnt going to be deployed anytime in the next year. However, I had my son and when he was born and I finally went back to work after I took the standard 42 days convalescent leave and 2 weeks of personal leave, I realized how hard it was. The father wasn't around and has never seen my son. So I never got any kind of help from him. When I went back to work I had to get up at 430am, nurse my son, put him in the carseat and get him to daycare by 530am. Go do PT @ 6am, try and make time to go back to the daycare to nurse again before having to report for duty a 9am. Then I was back at work from 9-5 or 6. Meanwhile my son was being raised by daycare.

It was too hard on me, I loved my unit and my job. But in the end I informed my unit that as a single mother, I didn't want this life anymore. I got chaptered out of the Army on a family care plan chapter. (that means I didn't give them a legal plan for all of the ppl who would take care of my son if I were called away short term or long term).

I miss being active duty with all of my heart and I miss my friends. I will never make the kind of friends I had in the Army again in civilian life. There is just something about the brother/sisterhood you have with your battle buddies. You know they have your back no matter what. They are your family away from your family. If that makes sense.

I think I made the right decision for me. It is hard for any parent, married, single, dual military (both parents are military). My parents were married and my dad was in the army and wasnt really around much til he retired. So that was a problem for us growing up and we resented it and everything. But he took care of us the best way he knew how and I think made the right choice.

I got a call yesterday and was asked if I would like to re-enlist and I was so excited, but turned it down. My son is happy here, he knows me, I can watch him grow and learn, I wont give that up. Call me selfish. I will always be Mommy first and soldier 2nd. Now I am just proud to be a veteran and call it a day.

But I think it is okay, there are alot of ppl that make it work. It just isn't for everyone. Just so you know if you do get pregnant while on active duty you do have the option of getting out of the military on a voluntary pregnancy chapter you just have to be out before a certain time in your pregnancy.
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17 Jul 2010, 17:23
24&pregnant.
Post Count: 22
I am in the Army active duty and I am currently pregnant. I don't think it is a bad thing, this is my job yes but I'm not putting my life on hold either. Other mom's work full time and they still manage to have families. Yes, the whole "getting pregnant to get out a deployment" is bad but why would anyone tell a woman she can't get married and have kids just because she works full time? That's ridiculous.
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22 Jul 2010, 20:20
The Ryan
Post Count: 414
It's not surprising women on active duty get pregnant. I imagine a LOT of sex happens in a war zone.
If you're living every day knowing it might be your last because of your heightened state of mortal awareness, then you're going to throw caution to the wind and go a bit crazy.
Plus, a war zone isn't the sort of place you'd think to take condoms. "I'm off to kick some Talbian ass, yo! Better pack a few Jonnys!" ;D
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23 Jul 2010, 01:38
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
Sex in the "war zone" is not allowed. They cannot risk soldiers getting sick (STDs/STIs) and female soldiers getting pregnant. But that does not mean it doesnt happen. Recently they started letting married couples share living quarters. So I had friends who would get married to their significant others so they could have sex, and not get in trouble for it. By trouble I mean lose rank, money, extra duty, and get an article 15. It is crazy but it happens.
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27 Jul 2010, 22:00
mixie
Post Count: 196
Someone has to be in the military. I am not one of those people. I kind of despise what our military currently stands for in other people's eyes at the moment, but that does not mean I don't support our troops and I don't think that gives anyone the right to take away our troops' human rights of reproduction. Think about it- even if they don't believe in the same thing you do- people in the military are the type of people willing to give their lives for something they believe in. THAT'S the type of person that needs to be reproducing and teaching their children to likewise stand up for what they believe in. My father was a Marine, and my brother is considering joining the Army. There has never been any pressure on me to join the armed forces and my father is very proud that I stand up for what I believe in, even if it is pacifism. Besides, the bottom line is that no one has the right to tell anyone else whether they have the 'right' to have children or not. It's a basic human right. Unless they sign an agreement, they have every right to have children. And I'd question any career that asked you to give up a basic human right.
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