As a woman who was active duty and got pregnant I can tell you it is okay. I did not set out to get pregnant on purpose. But it happened. I arrived to my unit while it was already deployed and I was already with our rear detatchment (the ppl that stayed behind to work for the unit and keep things running "at home" while it was deployed) so I wasnt going to be deployed anytime in the next year. However, I had my son and when he was born and I finally went back to work after I took the standard 42 days convalescent leave and 2 weeks of personal leave, I realized how hard it was. The father wasn't around and has never seen my son. So I never got any kind of help from him. When I went back to work I had to get up at 430am, nurse my son, put him in the carseat and get him to daycare by 530am. Go do PT @ 6am, try and make time to go back to the daycare to nurse again before having to report for duty a 9am. Then I was back at work from 9-5 or 6. Meanwhile my son was being raised by daycare.
It was too hard on me, I loved my unit and my job. But in the end I informed my unit that as a single mother, I didn't want this life anymore. I got chaptered out of the Army on a family care plan chapter. (that means I didn't give them a legal plan for all of the ppl who would take care of my son if I were called away short term or long term).
I miss being active duty with all of my heart and I miss my friends. I will never make the kind of friends I had in the Army again in civilian life. There is just something about the brother/sisterhood you have with your battle buddies. You know they have your back no matter what. They are your family away from your family. If that makes sense.
I think I made the right decision for me. It is hard for any parent, married, single, dual military (both parents are military). My parents were married and my dad was in the army and wasnt really around much til he retired. So that was a problem for us growing up and we resented it and everything. But he took care of us the best way he knew how and I think made the right choice.
I got a call yesterday and was asked if I would like to re-enlist and I was so excited, but turned it down. My son is happy here, he knows me, I can watch him grow and learn, I wont give that up. Call me selfish. I will always be Mommy first and soldier 2nd. Now I am just proud to be a veteran and call it a day.
But I think it is okay, there are alot of ppl that make it work. It just isn't for everyone. Just so you know if you do get pregnant while on active duty you do have the option of getting out of the military on a voluntary pregnancy chapter you just have to be out before a certain time in your pregnancy.