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Learn to love yourself
by raen

previous entry: I got the plague

next entry: Things....and photos

Thanksgiving

10/07/2018

As per usual, I am working on Thanksgiving. Right after I finish work, Chris is driving us to Perth to have dinner with his family. And then Tuesday, we'll be going to my parents for dinner. I'm looking forward to dinner with his family, but not so much mine. I warned him they'll be weird. Mark likes to talk over everyone else, and my mom likes to silently judge people and then later send my passive agressive texts about what she really thinks. 

Like that time I introduced my last boyfriend to her and she later sent me a two word text that said "He's nice." And then no other opinions were forthcoming. Of course, after the end of that relationship, she randomly decided to be a mother and sent me purple roses. Which, I admit, was quite nice of her. And she kept her opinions about the situation to herself.  I am mostly chalking this up to the fact that she was still reeling from the death of her mother (my grandmother was an amazing woman, no one would dislike her), and could only be nice during said time. But then she decided to hide from everyone when the grief became too much. She actually pretended her phone was having troubles for a year and a half. In that time, my sister got pregnant and had a son. My mom didn't express even an iota of interest in knowning anything about this. Other than wanting to visit my sister, I then decided she didn't need to be alone in giving birth, so I flew to BC to visit for two weeks. Liam just happened to be born during that visit. Chris, and Kaitlin, and hell, even a coworker expressed more interest than my mom did.

Then, a few months ago, my mom called me. She picked the most likely of her children to answer the phone. She has four, and of the four of us, I think our relationship is the least fractured. That's not to say it isn't super wrecked. It is. A lot of unfortunate things happened that she knew about and did nothing about. That's for another tale. She called, and told me that she hasn't been having phone troubles, and that she wasn't just ignoring everyone. She was going through a really hard time, accepting that she no longer had her parents, or her sister, and that she had been depressed. I gave her the names of a few places with sliding scales that help with counselling. Because, I've been there. Not necessarily for the same reasons, but I know what it's like to feel the suffocation of depression. The worst part is the hopelessness. And just because our relationship is terrible, doesn't mean I don't love her and want her to be the best she can be. She took my advice. And our communication has gotten better. 

She wont be able to mend the break between her and my oldest sibling, Shawn. That bridge is burned completely. I don't know what happened between them for it to be so concrete, but there it is. She seems fine with Jeremy, and Amie is vague about it, but apparently they talk on the phone from time to time. That's all I know. My family isn't one for being perpetually in contact. There's no hate, just we're all just a bunch of introverts and lose track of time. MY mom is the most social of us, I think. Who knows where the introversion came from. My dad maybe? I never knew him, so I have no clue. I just got his colouring. #redheadedstepchildjokes 

I feel a little better than yesterday. The headache is mostly gone, so I'm stuck with the congestion and the exhaustion. Being exhausted isn't new to me, though. I've basically been exhausted for most of my teen and adult years so far. Such is life. At least now the exhaustion is mostly due to my medication. And currently my cold, but not lack of sleep. Hurrah!

Anyway, happy thankskgiving. Even if you're not Canadian.

previous entry: I got the plague

next entry: Things....and photos

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I was so confused bc I was like it isn't Thanksgiving yet lol but happy thanksgiving to you!!

[sincerely me♥|0 likes] [|reply]

Lol sorry. It's thanksgiving in Canada. Thanks!

[raen|0 likes] [|reply]

Hope you feel better soon!

[Villy|0 likes] [|reply]

Sometimes it helps to write things out I hope this helped you happy thanksgiving 🍁

[*Kimberly|0 likes] [|reply]

Happy Thanksgiving to you!!

I completely understand about fractured families! And my mother is kinda going through something similar (from what I hear). Her high blood pressure is apparently the result of the lack of communication between my brother and I too. *insert eye roll here*

Families are such fun eh? (also...that eh thing - I say it all the time. My father is Canadian. So I hope you don't take offense to it!)

[teanahpea|0 likes] [|reply]

I didn't known high blood pressure could be caused by lack of communication. Lol
I think you're okay saying 'eh' , having Canadian blood and all.

[raen|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: I got the plague

next entry: Things....and photos

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