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Learn to love yourself
by raen

previous entry: May 16, 2019

next entry: June 18, 2019

Stories of the Past

05/25/2019

I decided the other day that I want to sort of make a collection of some memories. Not all of my childhood memories are happy ones, but some of them are. I want to start with some good ones, I think. And they won't likely be in any order, just as I think of them. Once I feel I have enough of them, I might see about getting them published. A lot of them will involve my oldest friend Kai, who is more of a sister than friend. I am likely going to enlist her help with some of the memories, too. I have a lot of missing memories from my childhood due to a past head injury and she's got a fabulous recollection. Most people do compare to me, to be honest. So here's one of them:

 

When I was eleven or twelve years old, my best friend introduced me to the Backstreet Boys. We listened to their albums on cassette tape over and over again, and later to their CDs. I have a clear memory of being pulled out of school in November in the middle of the day. My mom informed me that I was going to Toronto with Kai to see BSB after all. Originally, I wasn't able to go because her aunt had only been able to get three tickets (for her, her cousin, and her aunt as chaperone). Not wanting Kai to feel bad, I called and left a message, telling her not to feel bad and to go and have fun. My mom had been listening, I guess, and it wasn't until years later that she told me she had heard me and it had nearly broken her heart. 

 

The news that I was actually able to go had made my little twelve year old heart explode in joy. My mom rushed me home so I could pack my things, and then I was driven to Kai's house. We left shortly after for Toronto, where we subjected Kai's dad to hours of BSB songs. We had be ready for the concert, so we had to listen to their albums again. We stayed at her grandparents house. They were welcoming and their house was lovely. I remember staying in a room with mirrors on the closet doors and it freaked me out at night. I could see movement in the mirrors and kept thinking there was someone in there with me when it was really just my reflection everytime I shifted. 

 

We had a disposable camera that we tested before we left for the concert. There's one really grey and dim photo of me by a door, looking awkward and uncomfortable. There's another of us in a hall with her cousin between us. The three of us look excited and awkward all at once. It's a great photo, showcasing the joy of twelve year old girls, dressed in BSB shirts and ready to have their nights rocked. We ended up with some great seats at the concert, and we had some photos of BSB swinging out on lines over the audience. We were supposed to meet them after the show, but due to Nick being sick, I think, we ended up not meeting them that night. I can remember leaving the concert and not really being able to hear anything. Everything sounded like we had noise canceling headphones on. And then I remember Kai's aunt talking to news reporters with a camera and giving a glowing review of the concert. Our voices were hoarse from screaming and singing as loud as we could during the concert, but we didn't care. We got to see our favourite band live and not on recorded VHS tapes.

 

Later, as adults, we saw them again with two of our friends. We had decent seats and ended up going to an after party, where we got to experience AJs bodyguard putting our hands on his butt, and someone changing my camera settings to video when I went to get a picture with Howie. I have this comical video where Howie is saying something and I'm just standing there with a stupid grin on my face, not realizing it's a thirty second video instead of a picture. I also remember us being surprised to hear the F-bomb being dropped by Nick and Kevin while they were singing along to songs that were popular at the time. It was a nice way to round out what started when we were two twelve year old girls, sharing memories.

previous entry: May 16, 2019

next entry: June 18, 2019

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