ReVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
0
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

Silver-Medal Stars & The Dance Through Just Enough
by a little one

previous entry: 022 - Progression looks a lot like regression

next entry: 024 - Expletive Deleted

023 - Hope is a twisted and black thing with blood stained lips

09/18/2010

I am wearing a collar.
Which could be revoked at any moment.
None of this is a surprise.
And one must assume the pain is from the idea of loss more than anything at this point.
He hasn't been gone long enough for the missing to hurt this much.

I don't need a girl, don't need a friend
'Cause my friend Lonesome's unconditional
We're flying forever bored
For a moment I love everything that I see and think and feel
I love my broken side view mirror
'Cause it's so perfect, I'm so perfect, you're so perfect
You're not here
I feel the changing gears


I had a productive day.
Large amused parts of me wonder if this will be a trend.
Something, something, emptiness.

I had a good moment, while waiting through a broken computer system to change my government ID addresses, where a tiny little french girl made friends with me, nearly against my will.
Except I'm never loathe to make friends with a three year old.
(((I am sitting here, loading the same Zelda file over and over, teaching myself to throw bombs.)))
She pulled my hair, and we started playing a game of "No, I didn't, what are you talking about I was sleeping on mom.
So that was fun. Since her mom was right there, I felt it safe to graduating to poking back, instead of just playing the "What, who did that?" part.
Mom said, when I left, that she said we were friends. I told Mom to tell her that she'd made my wait far more fun and thank you.

---

I cannot keep my brain together.
I checked off everyone on my "must see before I leave" list.
Some more poorly than others.
I really do have good friends. I need to not forget that.

I'm trying to get my OSAP together.
Dad's talking about going back on his "if money is the only thing stopping you, don't worry" statement, and without mom and dad's help I can't do this. OSAP will pay a good chunk, but not enough and not soon enough.

I had one day, just one, where I was up at seven and to bed by midnight, like a normal person.
I've been sleeping the last two to recover.
And I think I can go to school?!
And I desperately need people to shut the fuck up about that person they know with something childhood education related who couldn't get a job.
This is all I got.

And my dad is morphing back into my father, and I don't know why, and part of me is glad because I was worried about dementia, and the other part of me is cursing him out for everyone involved.

I'm tired. I just want to be able to take care of myself, and I'm so scared.

I keep trying to be brave.
But I'm still crying myself to sleep tonight.
Shit. This is ridiculous. Friday was a good day, and I wanted to write it down happy.
And I still can't figure out how to throw bombs right.

When violet eyes get brighter,
And heavy wings grow lighter,
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again.
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
But I swear I won't forget you,
Oh if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here.


previous entry: 022 - Progression looks a lot like regression

next entry: 024 - Expletive Deleted

0 likes, 4 comments

[ | add comment ]

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.

Confirmation Code

Space, good gods. This gets me really anxious whenever I think about getting involved with a sub. Sweet little pets need so much attention.

I'm having sympathy pains over scholarly financial issues. Like my J.E.B. always says, "You might major in ______, but you're minoring in red-tape."

-- E.L.F.

[|reply]

It's more what I did know about getting involved with a youngling. They need to spread their wings and fly, and you can't go with them else they might mistake your flight pattern for theirs.
He is gone. Gone, gone. He might not ever come back. I have the collar, still, to remind me that he expects to, and wants to, but we plotted out methods of revoking it, should it come to that.

[a little one|0 likes] [|reply]

i love you

[deus solus|0 likes] [|reply]

<3

[an empty frame.|0 likes] [|reply]

Online Friends
Offline Friends