ReVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
0
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

What's your secret?
by BloopSecrets

previous entry: Hurt when I see him with her

next entry: McDonalds

When your Soul Mate cheats

07/07/2011

My Wife of 10 years, whom I met online, has been a member of this site for many many many years.

I wanted to join her community of people, thinking it would be a good way to share and express and help other people. And when I started reading her entries, I realized they were mostly complaining about me. I read back a few entries and found one entitled "confessions of a cheater" and found out for the last 4 years she had been sleeping with a friend. The last time she went to go see him, I thought it was weird. She went all the way out there to "have coffee" with him... an hour trip... stay an hour, and then come back. So I asked her later that day if she was sleeping around. She told me no. So 3 months later and I'm reading the entry she posted probably 15min after I had asked her about it. and she's going on about how it was the best sex she ever had and she was going to go to him whenever she wanted "Happy fun time"

So... the Question is... Why did I forgive her?

Sometimes it nags at me... when we first got together, we were eachother's firsts... she's still the only person I've ever been with... I'm confused with how I feel about the fact that she's been with someone else... still even now... and it's been almost a year since I found out...

She insists I should find someone else to play with as well... partly to even it out, partly because she really enjoyed having someone different. She swears she's over it and won't do it ever again. And I think I believe her, but part of me keeps whispering that little saying in the back of my head... "Cheaters always Cheat"

I don't know what to do... what to think... I'm sure I made the right choice in forgiving her.

I mean "Buddha forgives twice" so why can't I?

previous entry: Hurt when I see him with her

next entry: McDonalds

0 likes, 30 comments

(signed comments only) add comment

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.

Confirmation Code

Cheaters don't always cheat. Sometimes we admit what kind of people we are, and go poly. As a former cheater, I can say that I know (and always knew) cheating is NEVER okay. "Playing" with others is only okay if everyone is informed and comfortable with it.

She lied to you for 40% of your marriage. Time for you to stop protecting her and do something good for yourself. Find someone that deserves you.

[mixie|0 likes] [|reply]

Also forgiving her and doing what's right for you are CLEARLY different things in this situation.

[mixie|0 likes] [|reply]

I'm with mixie!

[ScruddleStar|0 likes] [|reply]

What Mixie said. Could not be worded better.

[Betch.|0 likes] [|reply]

Its just not right. Plain and simple. She does not deserve your forgiveness.

[|reply]

I agree with all the comments on here. If you even for a second believe she's cheating again or hasn't stopped then you obviously haven't truly forgiven her. You deserve better then what she's done to you. Even if you have forgiven her, it sure as hell doesn't mean you have to stay with her.

[SoA|0 likes] [|reply]

I feel so badly for you because you obviously care about her way more than she cares about you. Even if she doesn't cheat again, she sounds as if she's just encouraging you to cheat to make herself feel better. So, long story short--I agree with Mixie. Do something good for yourself and find someone who will love you better.

[Hidden DepthsStar|0 likes] [|reply]

You can't because you don't need to. She cheated, and lied continuously about it for years. Now she's saying for you to find someone else to even the score? Two wrongs don't make a right, she's just trying to justify what she did in her mind. If it was the best she ever had, you should find someone that does better than she does.

[Becoming Mrs. Bailey|0 likes] [|reply]

like

[SoA|0 likes] [|reply]

Agreed with all above comments.

[♥New.Mommy.|0 likes] [|reply]

sorry but she's a dumb for posting it on bloop.. Never post juicy stuff & put it on "everyone" &/or "memebers".. Ur just asking for trouble..

[fearless♥love|0 likes] [|reply]

There's more to the story than him just "suddenly joining her members". I suspect he snooped into get account.

What woman would cheat, write about it, lie about it for years, and then let her read her bloop?

Nah. It's fishy.

[.erodium.|0 likes] [|reply]

Everyone is capable of cheating. There is no such thing as 'cheaters' and 'non-cheaters', just people, circumstances, and individual situations. She isn't a 'party girl' or anything like that... She just happened upon an instance where for whatever reason, she made a bad choice. That doesn't make her any MORE likely to do it a second time than she was for the first... Believe me. But if you're sure you've made the right choice in forgiving her- What's the question? I can't say I blame you for holding a grudge (anyone in their right mind would), but if said grudge is going to make such a negative impact on the relationship, what's the point in trying to fight it? Either the situation can be fixed, or it can't. You need to decide.

[Poetic Justice|0 likes] [|reply]

Honestly, no one who TRULY loves you will tell you to go with someone else to even it out. Go with your gut. If youre questioning it so much, it's for a reason.

You deserve better

[broke & famous|0 likes] [|reply]

true soulmates don't cheat.

[A mother's journey*|0 likes] [|reply]

LIKE!

[CrystalsLost|0 likes] [|reply]

like

[SoA|0 likes] [|reply]

Personally I have a hard time forgiivng people who cheat. My ex cheated on me. The trust is gone after that, always wondering if they'll do it again. I don't like feeling iffy about someone I love and who is supposed to love me.

But you know what? His cheating on me and our breakup was a HUGE blessing in disguise. If he never cheated we might still be together and I would never have dated and married my wonderful husband.

I guess I could tell you to go with your heart on this one. Hopefully she is done and will never do it again. And if she does, I hope that you will be able to move on.

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

sometimes people screw up, even more so when they have only been with 1 person and are wondering what its like with someone else

[Mommy2Aiden|0 likes] [|reply]

I think you need to find someone who will treat you the way you need to be treated. She doesn't deserve you one bit.

[lady burt.|0 likes] [|reply]

I think if you guys want to continue your relationship, you guys need to address why she felt the need to cheat.

[Butterflys don't lie|0 likes] [|reply]

i'd say she isn't really your soulmate.

[valerieeeeeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

My soulmate (husband and father of my childre) cheated on me.
I quickly realised he wasn't my soulmate.
We split up.
I don't regret it.

[Mojo Jojo|0 likes] [|reply]

Well, as much as it sucks, you see who she is- she's either not monogamous, or she's a dick. If she's poly and you're not, it will never end well. Never. You'll always be jealous, you'll never enjoy intimacy because you'll always wonder who she's thinking about, et cetera. Also, there's a possibility she's just a selfish cheater. Not all cheaters are polygamists. Polygamy isn't about screwing everyone you can, it's experiencing more love and emotional satisfaction with more than one person. Monogamous cheaters are cowards who don't have the guts to break up when they're unhappy.

[Emily the StrangeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Break up with her and move on.

[Anonymous SourceStar|0 likes] [|reply]

It is a very very difficult and a very personal thing that you have to do inside of yourself. Very tough decision I wish you the very best of luck

[|reply]

get rid of the bitch! find someone who actually deserves you!

[Immortal Shadows|0 likes] [|reply]

"and she was going to go to him whenever she wanted "Happy fun time""

so how many times are you going to forgive her..? By the sounds of it she's not ready to stop yet. I'm sure even the Buddha has his limits.

[Ninja.in.disguise. |0 likes] [|reply]

You no wat.... i really dnt no wat to say.. u forgiving someone is ur choice its how u feel about the sittuation... if u have completly thought about wat she did and how it makes u feel and depending on how u strongly feel about the sittuation then u forginvig her is ur decesion.. if it was me and i loved this person with all my heart and soul and never thought about anyone but them and my heart beated for them, and they went off and did wat she did thinking they loved me i would be so heart broken i'm not sure if i could go on with being with that person honestly.... i'm very sorry she did that to u and i hope u make the best decesion for u... Amor, Chachita.Bonita!!!

[Chachiz|0 likes] [|reply]

Hmm... you got your wife to join this site, and she wrote open entries that you could read about how she cheated on you? Doesn't really ring true.

[main page|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Hurt when I see him with her

next entry: McDonalds

(no comments accepted)

Online Friends
Offline Friends