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never not beautiful;
by cherie_xx
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never not beautiful;
by cherie_xx

previous entry: a knockout blow.

next entry: you're almost here.

blackout.

02/22/2009

What follows is a txt conversation I had with Grant on Thursday night.

Thursday February 19th
Grant: "My day was ok, beta now i'm in the pub- with my wallet! I agreed 2a d8 wiv my m8's sis! He'l kill me when he finds out! I kinda promised i wudn't, but she's been badgerin me 4 ages! Actually I best tell him now b4 he finds out elsewhere."

Me: "glad the wallet is bak. m8's sister is dodgy territory! lol. gd luck wit tht! whn is ur hot date? can't picture u bein badgered in2 a date, but i'm wrkin on it."

Grant: "I knw it's dodgy! Been in that situation b4 & it didn't turn out 2 gd! Wtf mite aswel take the dive, its been at least a month lol! Dnt u think we;r a lil far apart 4a d8? Unless I stay at urs?"

Me: "lol. yeh wht the hell! stayin at mine is nt an option. sorry. i like london, its neutral. but hey no rush! u soundlike a busy guy! lol. jus throwin it out there!"

-----------------------------
After then came silence. I've not heard from him in two days. I'm confused. I cannot get him off my mind.

I lay in the bed in James' arms last night and silently wept, I'm not sure why. Because I betrayed James so much already, or because I cannot come to terms with the fact that Grant may not talk to me ever again. I'm going to black out on Grant for a few days and see what happens. I'm busy today cleaning the flat and tomorrow my parents are coming to visit for my mum's birthday.

I'll see what happens. I cannot imagine Grant to just ignore my texts without good reason. Maybe I'm just too naive and saw too much good in him, it was all a bit too good to be true.






previous entry: a knockout blow.

next entry: you're almost here.

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Oh dear, honey just make sure you're not getting in over your head here. I think it may be a case of wanting what you can't have? A part of me thinks you should meet up with him and see how you get on in RL, but another part of me keeps thinking about James and how he would feel if he found out - also, it's really bad karma haha! I guess you have to do what feels right for you though. I think going quiet on him and not giving him any attention will get him running back to you so that you're not the only one making any effort...see what happens...

BTW, it's my Mum's bday tomorrow too!!!

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