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Non iam
by wugs

previous entry: Come Here Often?

next entry: Uhg

Okay, I know, I know

04/16/2010

begin.

I suck shit at keeping a diary sometimes.

So I got a job to balance out the irresponsibility of the last entry. I am tired as fuck of Mom and Dad constantly ragging on me because I use their gas money and their car insurance money. Soooo, now that I have a job the agreement is that until I get my own car (which I have to buy myself!) they pay for my gas. Since I am at school while they're at work and they are home when I am, I can get to work easily. Minimum wage, of course.

What's the job? Bagger at Food Lion. Two days in, and I already have a million huge opinions about shopping in grocery stores. Fuck customers. Hahahaha.

My responsibilities include bagging, saying "Welcome to Food Lion!", getting the carts off the lot (annoying/difficult), cleaning the floors with the big machine on night that I close (ie, work until 10 since I can't work until 11, the real closing time), gathering trash, restocking the Food Lion Great Value "brand" breads, and cleaning the damn bathrooms. Women apparently like to period all over the goddamn place there? Yeah, thanks. Another charming lady clogging the sink in the handicapped stall, left it on, and locked the stall from the inside. I got to mop that up.

I've only worked two days, Tuesday and Thursday of last week (spring break). I worked from 3:30 to 10:00 which is pretty long in my eyes. I get one 30-min break when I work more than 4hrs 15min (or something like that), and Monday I got 30min clocked because of "training" (ie, paperwork and brief info; the job is 90% do-what-needs-to-be-done). That means I've clocked 12.5hrs @ $7.25/hr. This Saturday I work 10am-4pm (GREAT hours because then I don't do closing!), so that's another 5.5. I'm not sure when I get my first paycheck, but it'll either be $83.70 or $120.22 after taxes (depending on when the pay period ends versus when I started). I'm getting a checking account and losing $70/mo. to car insurance. Hopefully I'll get enough hours to save money quickly because I want a MacBook (a Pro if I can hold out long enough).

During the summer I *might* be contacted for a weekend-only position at a local mini-golf place. I might take that job too (it'll be WAY easier, it's a cashier-only position) and make a pretty penny more. I REALLY want this Macbook.

So anyway, as I type this the Day of Silence begins in four minutes. I am observing it this year. Yay me! I have red on my glasses and a rainbow belt to wear. I know, I rock at accessories.

So, enough with the cheery stuff, here comes the required teenage drama.


So basically, Caleb, the crush from forever ago (at least, it seems like forever ago) has recently gotten a girlfriend. I thought he might've already been going out, but OHHH NOOO. See, I have him as a friend on Facebook (I made an entry about that at some point...), and now I see his OMG I TOTALLY LOVE YOU posts. GAH!

I was still jealous of the girl even though I have a new crush, Denny. Especially since their FB pics were...cute (on his part, at least; she isn't too impressive tbh).

Soooo, Denny. Gah. I feel so bad about trying to hang out with him because everyone ELSE is such better friends with him. Like, Slaw has known him for quite a while because she went to his house over the summer between 9th and 10th grade. Jonny has gotten close through track (shit, they had a meet today; forgot to ask how it went...) and art class. Zach apparently has gotten close to him this semester (maybe before?) through history class. I talk to him 1) at his house 2) at lunch. I feel like I'm invading on his hospitality. Plus, I'm fucking CRUSHING on him, which makes me feel like shit because he's straight, knows I'm gay, is cool with it, and doesn't know I like him. FUCKKK.

Whenever I go to ANY fucking place at ALL with other people, it is because I was invited by Slaw. Well, at LEAST 90% of the time. I rarely organize big things like that. Slaw is often the one to invite me to Denny's (I don't text him because, though I have his number, I didn't get it from him, and "hey this is blank I stole your number from blank" texts are weird to get)...well...except this time.

This time Logan told me.

See, Bloop has missed two wonderful events: 1) I told two gay guys at school that I'm also gay (separately under different circumstances) and 2) I found out each has a separate secret crush on me.

Well, the non-Logan one, Brandon, is just a maybe. But he's...transparent to say the least. I got a few formsprings that said the person liked me. I said for them to message me and sometime the next day I got a Facebook wall post from Brandon saying "". Yeah, subtle. I'll be blunt and say I don't like him as much more than an almost-not-a-friend-but-really-is-kind-of-a-friend-sorta.

Anyway, the Logan crush I heard from Slaw who was told by Logan himself. :/ Logan's a cool guy and becoming a closer friend (we text each other fairly often), but I'm not interested in him that way. He's...well, he's just...not my type? Gah, okay, I'm being a picky bitch. He's...not very good looking. And sometimes he's just...well...annoying, to be honest. I hate to say it, but he is sometimes pretty childish. GOD. I always complain about how no one's gayyyyy waaahhh wahhhh and Josh (the 19-year-old stylist), Brandon, and Logan have ALL presented themselves and I've been a bitch to all of them.

Why am I such a bad person?

end.

lithium layouts.

previous entry: Come Here Often?

next entry: Uhg

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Yay for having a job!!! Ha.
Also, that must be hard to know that they have crushes on you when you don't return it. As long as you aren't leading people on, you're not bad. But if they're under the impression that you like them back when you don't... then you're a jerk. But otherwise it's not your fault.

[Aubrey;Star|0 likes] [|reply]

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