|I want to hate her. I want to hate her and be done with it. |
But she's never done anything bad to me, not herself. She's been nothing but considerate. I know that, if it were not for the situation we are in, I would like her an awful lot. It's just I can't, not now.
I've spent the last few days by myself, trying to fight my own demons down to a dull roar, and what does she do today? She's NICE to me, that's what. I feel like utter shit because she's nice to me. I feel like I should be nice back, because in my ethical scheme, there's no good reason for me not to. I just can't. So I say nothing.
It makes my stomach hurt.