Giovanni's dad is dying of cancer so I've asked him to move in with me so I can look after Gabriel for him (I offered just Gabriel at first, but he didn't want to be separated from him). They've taken his dad off treatment because it's not working and it's spread to just about everywhere now. He must be really sick. He doesn't talk about it much so I'm not sure how much longer he has, but by the sounds of it he's going to pass on soon. Givoanni feels like he's neglecting Gabriel because he's sad all the time. Gabriel is pretty fucking demanding (has special needs) and I can understand how exhausting that must be. I think he hasn't had time to grieve or think about what it all means. I wish I could do more to help. Sarah's dad also has prostate cancer. It seems like everyone's parents are dying. Sucks. Luke is stll staying at his dad's to look after him. I wonder how long that'll go on for now that Giovanni and Gabriel will be here? It's weird but I kind of don't want him around while I'm going to be parenting Gabriel most of the time. It's just too complicated and I think it might start problems if it's in his face all the time.
Anyway, I've told Giovanni he can come and go whenever he wants. He just wants to be alone, he says. I think Gabriel will stay here for a couple of days while he thinks about it. I'm looking forward to having more time with Gabriel. Part of me is worried about it affecting my work but it shouldn't be too bad. We'll see how we go. I've picked up a fair bit of work lately, too. Really happy about that. I feel like one day I'm just going to all of a sudden have no clients and then I'll be fucked but it seems to be fairly steady right now and this week I've had a few more clients than usual. I'm thinking it's because of the proposed prostitution bill? Like, advertising for the industry? lol I don't know. Maybe I'm just really sexy, I mean moreso than usual.
I'm tired and so tempted to have a nap but the kitchen really needs to be tidied... I can't remember if I took my meds today or not wtfffff. I think I have. I don't know. Oh shit once Gabriel is here I won't be able to take naps on a whim Not that I do it very often these days. I used to do it a lot. These days I tend to just THINK about wanting a nap... but not actually doing it.
Ahhh fuck I'm feeling kind of unenthusiastic about Gabriel staying here 24/7. It's like, goodbye freedom! But I care about him more than I care about the ability to have naps when I want and whatever. I'm just, you know, complaining about it. I'm lucky to have the opportunity to spend more time with him.
PS. I LOVE LUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE omg I wanna make LOVE. I think it's the gloomy weather. Makes me wanna be in bed with him. ...Well I always want to be in bed with him but ... shh.