Today while sitting on the toilet doing a poo I realised that while I've been picking the fuck out of my legs I don't have a single ingrown pubic hair and my cock is looking fucking joy!!!! You know, I always have a bump here or there and I guess I worry about it a lot because I'm pale as shit so any blemish is pretty noticable but, yeah, right now, it's all looking a lot better. Even my legs are a lot better, save for the scabs that I keep on repicking.
There have been a few things that Luke and I have been doing together that I've been wanting to write about. It's almost like, if we do something really sexy and wild and hot and awesome but I don't write about it ... I worry that I'll forget about it. But of course who doesn't love bragging about their sex life when it's getting particularly good anyway! I just, I don't know... We'll fuck, and usually I try to write about it soon after. But I get half way through my writing and then I'm so tired and I fall asleep. And if I start something and don't finish it in the same go, it never gets finished. But the intention is always there. And then the next day when I go to read my half-written sex story to try to finish it off... I see how ridiculous it is, the way I talk about the way we fuck, and I get embarrassed and it all goes to HELL!!!
I'm tired. Midday nap because I didn't sleep at all last night. We didn't even get INTO bed. Luke's getting into making me "perform" a bit lately -- to his friends. I hate it so much that I love it. It's like I'm being used as their entertainment. I love it when Luke acts unphased by whatever I'm doing. For example we were in the backyard the other day and I got on my knees to suck him off.... after a while I looked up and saw he was texting someone on his phone. LOL. Mind you, it was a quick text and I don't THINK he was THAT bored with my blowjob. He gets off on making me feel insignificant. I get off on feeling insignificant. It works. ...Anyway, my point is, it's a phantasy ... woah, I just misspelled fantasy look at that. lol. Anyway. It's a fantasy of mine that we've been talking about a bit. I mean, we talk about a lot of fantasies... It's just dirty talk. I was surprised when he acted on it just a couple of days later. The... being made to perform sexually against my will... fantasy.... I mean. Ah, fuck, I'm not making any sense am I. I'm trying to explain something that we did and I keep on going off track and not blah blah ok fuckit I'm going to bed.
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