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E. Quill's Diary
by E. Quill

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Reroll

12/23/2019

It has been a weird shitty couple of days. I was mid writing a long emotional thing about my weird dinner with my grandma that was supposed to be wonderful but was gifted with the most awkward uncomfortable news that she was thrilled to tell me. 

Then my husband did a shitty thing. That is far reaching and shitty and it is less the shitty thing and more that he hid it from me so I couldn't help fix it until it was way way way to late. It has made the shitty thing with my grandma so much worse. I am so mad and I don't know what to do with that emotion. I just find myself wishing I could hurt him back  and isn't that the shittiest thing you ever read? I feel like garbage in my soul. I feel horrible all the time when I let my mind go and think of it. I am also semi angry at Fred for this. Even though that probably isn't fair. J is still my person and I know he hurt himself and not just me with this thing but I think I got hit harder and that he let that happen because I am less important. Its a big thing and I know this is vague. I want to get into it more I just don't have the time or the fucking mental energy from all the sending out anger and sorrow that I have been doing.  It is just hard to hug him right now when I am so angry I want to kick him in the shin. 

Then one of my siblings had a friend pass and its been a shit show with the way that information has traveled around the town. its been a lot. I intend to write. It has just been a fuck of a December. I was overwhelmed trying to lay out the first thing that happened even to myself and it just kept coming. 

I hope everyone is having a happy Christmas. 

previous entry: Bouncy, Trouncy, Founcy, Pouncy

next entry: Smile Smile Smile

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😓 well shit, I sure hope things start looking up <3 [head.above.water.Star] [reply]

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