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E. Quill's Diary
by E. Quill

previous entry: Words flow away forever just out of reach

next entry: My head can't tolerate this bobbing and pretending

I only leave footprints in time.


I started an entry before I started watching the extra kid but time just got away from me.  I was watching my moms dogs, which she just seemed to assume I would do and I kind of resent that. Her dogs are not loable because she doesn't seem to like them much. They stay in their crate like hermit crabs. and spend a lot of time in the laundry room. They just don't seem like members of the family So they smell oddly and I have to pick them up, and they don't like it. while my dog just..comes when i call her and free reign spends time with me in the house she lives in.


C comes over, early with her kid and I mention I have the dogs too. "Your emergency just coincided with my mothers emergency." 


"You mean her emergency to go to universal studios? " C snapped back.


"Wel I mean her emergency of not having anyone else to take care of her dogs like your emergency to not have anyone else to care for your kid."


She then told me her friend Crystal had been goign to watch them but that fell through because her mom passed. I know she had someone before then who either pulled out...or she never planned for this at all. It was irritating. I am doing you a favor but lets be clear, you are both assholes who seem to think poor planning on your part is an emergency on everyone elses part. 


15 minutes after she left he was drenched. He had diarhea the entire time he was here because I guess he drank soap because her dad let him bathe to long? And she only sent pull ups so I just used my diapers because pull ups are for potty training and not really...diarhea catching. 


It took a few days as I expected. I am still exausted and I feel like because I had to text her for updates because I had her kid I was feeding into some attention bank. And everytime she says "husband" my eyes roll so far into the back of my head. I feel for her. I do. I don't know how many happy moments that whole situation has in it so surely yes, she should soak up the happy ones they get but damn this whole thing is just like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I wonder how long til she announces her move back to California. She says she just wants her "husband" to buy a house here but who would manage his rentals down there? And when would he see his other kid?  Or did he lose visitation because of the DV stuff?

I like this ones first name but as a set its all to much for me. I know its rich coming from me. My kid has a very unusal name, at least in spelling and I am sure we got eyerolls but it was important to J they both have the bad spelling. It is quite a thing to assign someone something for life. We once met a kid named Coker, probably last name, and I was told his whole home was decorated with Coke products. Only, its their first and middle name that you call them in public when you're trying to start a conversation with the mom next to you.  I think of the Dionne Quints and each one was assigned a colour that they had to wear all the time and it stuck with them their whole life. 

She has offered to trade babysitting but ahhh no.

--So I am slow on updates and since I wrote this both my husband and son have come down with the terrible sickness baby B had. I am pretty sure she didn’t plan for her birth, or people no longer wanted to help her because of “husband”...and she sent a sick child to me to infect my family because who cares.  Moving here has been shit for the “oh good now you are close enough to do me lots of favors “ thing. And there is no reciprocation. My mom has babysat my kid but like she wants time with him. I don’t want time with her gross dogs. Its not like a trade. Its a play date.  And at c’s they smoke in the house and while pregnant and everything else and I’m not ok with my kid being there for very long let alone without me. I’m annoyed. I mostly like to be left alone but now I am just the offical “She isn’t doing anything important” and I resent it.

Followed by J’s grandparents and “Heads up tell the Angel (I wish they wouldn’t call him that. I feel like she does it to say hes innocent and perfect or whatever, but to me it feels like it implies he is dead and my whole pregnancy I was so sure he wouldn’t make it. Even after.. It just makes me feel gross but I can’t ask her to stop without explaining myself so..whatever call him that stupid name that isn’t even like my little earth bender at all) that were heading down.”

He text back asking what she meant and she then vaguely said she might come down (lives 10 hours away) and might bring her husband (5 hours away). He pushed for dates and she got all defensive. Why would we want dates? They can work around his work schedule once they arrive since they are RETIRED. In all caps for whatever reason. Well ok our schedule. So my husband works 7 days a week. He will sometimes take a day off if I ask but usually 7 days, He gets off at 3. I put the kid to nap at 2:30-3:00 ish so when he gets here we can catch up and settle in and then get the boy up to play before dinner which we eat at like 7 because thats when we like to eat.  Play with the kid and then teeth brushed and bed by 8:30 and up at 8 am the next day to do it again. Saturdays we grocery shop and it is pretty much the only day I leave the house. Tuesday and Thursday we raid and have to be near our computers more during the day. So they are going to show up and either mess us E’s nap schedule which I found a way to work my day around...or we see them from 530-7 maybe one time.

He then said he didn’t know if there was an issue with them coming, because he didn’t know the dates.  J’s grandma likes to be vague. I think she thinks people find it charming and mysterious. People actually find it exhausting. She will call you and tell you she is “on a road” and then show up in your town. She hasn’t done it here but often when we lived in the city. Or recently she went to Alaska. “Whats in Alaska?” my husband asked to be polite. “I am.” she coyly answered. It isn’t adorable and I do not enjoy it.

He then explained he was planning to go to the city to get stuff out of our storage and like. There is a chance we won’t be here during your mystery dates.

Then she was all “Oh we are housesitting for your aunt on these dates and we were thinking these ones. And maybe you could come up and rent a trailer and we could help you load it. Big help for you.”

And you know what. I bet when they planned that they discussed dates with aunt. He was pretty annoyed that like theres an imaginary line where his aunt is an adult who is worthy of discussing plans with and our family are just children so we are told.  Not to mention, if she had dates..why not just fucking tell us the first time we asked? Then they are Tuesday-Thursday. We have been busy Tuesday and Thursday evening every week of our whole life and always have been we usually do a take and bake or something else quick those days because of how busy we are. But ok. Also no we can’t get a trailer right now.

I feel taken for granted. People assume because I am home that my time is not valuable and there for them to divvy out and all these things just feel like if I said no to any of them I being a dick. Technically I can do all of them and alone it is fine but I feel a little put on upon from all sides and like people forgot I am a person who might have opinions about her time. I am just frustrated today.

I have more to write but this got quite long. More as soon as I can.

previous entry: Words flow away forever just out of reach

next entry: My head can't tolerate this bobbing and pretending

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Very annoying about the grandparents. I don't understand people who don't understand the common courtesy of letting someone know they'd like to visit and allowing time to plan that out. I've always wanted to be the kind of person who would happily take in visitors on the fly, but ugh I just can't keep my house well enough organized to let people show up without advance notice. Despite this, my dad does it every time. I do appreciate his new efforts to spend time with my family but a phone call saying he'll be here sometime tomorrow just doesn't cut it for me and it annoys my husband.
Sorry your family got sick because you had the heart to fo a good deed, that's the worst. Hope they feel better soon.
Are you living in Extended Shoreline now? Is C? I wasn't sure if she was back in CA. [kansas.campfire] [reply]