DeVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

This is My Journey To Find Happiness
by ♥Amanda

previous entry: 00029.

next entry: 00031. To Whom It May Concern

00030. When will you grow ^



this is conversation's/e-mails between me & this girl kathryn
to help you understand what happened.... she was talking smack about this girl alyssa who i just became friends with, which i think was totally uncalled for. if thats how she felt she needed to keep it to herself!!!! so after all the drama she e-mailed me on FB and them i e-mailed her back and well you can read [= have fun what i wrote...was 1661 words to her [= lol

Kathryn - im sorry about last night. it had nothing to do with you. so much shit is going on and i didn't mean to upset you if i did. but Alyssa is someone i don't need in my life. i hope you and i will remain friends though. and our friendship will not end because of someone like that. oh and she told me how i mooch off of you and never pay for anything like layouts and stuff. so to make it easier i wont ask you to make me anything anymore. i didn't know it upset you so much why didn't you inform me. anyways see you soon.

Me - It's not that I don't like making stuff for you, I have no problem. I like making things for my friends, it helps me get more examples and all. You just happen to make my more pissy then what i already was. like you just imed me and said, hey when your not busy i need to lays. like no hey can u do me a favor if you have time or please, so i was pissed and yeah i told alyssa. i was already pissy and just made me more mad. & the whole thing with last night, you just happen to start at the wrong time, i tried closing the screen and all but when sharing screens its not all the super fast. i dont like drama and dont wanna be involed. I have to much going on in my life to be doing this. As far as Alyssa not liking me, maybe it's true maybe its not but i don't see that being considering we talk everyday and about everything and she keeps ordering more stuff from me. I understand having to vent, but at the same time you put me in a postion, like i consider her a friend and you talking about her and her daughter just wasnt right. like if she was talking shyt about you and bella i'm sure you would want me to tell you and the same if someone was talking shyt anout me and jaiden. I have a lot on my plates as far as designing, i dont have time for anything. i have Klice & simple touch that i need to manage. I now have USMC Lovely that I need to make different stuff for and tag with that name. Plus my custom site. Taking care of this apt, jaiden, trying to get back into my school work and I have a job interview on friday. I dont have time to be doing all this stuff free cuz it dont help me in anyway. Like alyssa, she paid for me for her site layout and some icons and stuff and i threw other stuff in there for free. I dont mind doing that, But it's a lot of work. I just dont wanna get involved in any drama, sorry if i sound like a bitch and all, not what im trying to do. And even with the stuff you said about alyssa last night, maybe cuz u known her for like 2 years, but i havent seen anything u said. If lily is advanced then awesome alyssa is her mom, she's a loud to be proud. Jaiden's advanced in some area's and im proud as shyt and hes behind in speech and im still proud as shyt. like i said maybe cuz u known her for 2 years but idk i find her to be a awesome person, she sweet as hell. I just dont wannna get involved in any drama. i have enough of that at home. and again i dont mind making things but not to be rude, you had like no manners. I'm sure u were mad i offered to do the lyt for alyssa but then at the same time she offered me stuff in return, not that i took it, it's just the fact of being polite. and also after everything that happened last night she told me you messaged her the other day or yesterday morning, i dont remember... asking questions if we were talking and all and that just to remember shes my friend. Now i'm pretty I just told you right before christmas the shyt i went through with my brother wanting to have dinner at his place and not even asking me. same thing, i am 21 years old and i can decide for myself. we are not in 2nd grade and that was beyond childish. I really don't apprecaite that. That's like saying if your friends with her i dont wanna be your friend, which seriously aint even cool at all. im 21 i can make choices for meself. Again, not interested in drama and you wanna remain friends, fine but you dont really need to be running your mouth about her and her daughter, you have a problem with alyssa, thats one thing, but to involve a 2 year old just aint right. I'm not trying to be a bitch but I am just all around fed up with people talking about people. If were gonna put all the cards on the table then I will, cuz I listen to you vent about a lot od stuff, and I just agree with you to avoid you hating on me. You got pissed cuz your mom said she was gonna kick you and bella out. And I agree with your mom, your 23 years old. Have you put in any applications? You don’t like to go out and look for a job cuz u live in brooklyn acting like the second u walk out the door your gonna get murdered. Not sure if you know but last year philadelphia had the highest rate of murder. I still walk out my door. I still went out and put a shyt load of applications. Im not trying to be a bitch but it’s the truth. I tried telling you about tonya and kaylee to keep you informed, and you made it all about you and bella.. fine whatever, im not getting mad about it, but you did. I was just trying to inform you, and keep u up to date. Then u put for your status, maybe u missed him more then you thought… seriously, did u expect people not to ask you about it? I didn’t because I believe you put it there for people to give you attention and cuz your mom said she was gonna kick you out. Im not trying to hurt your feelings or anything but I’m putting everything on the table! I’m not perfect… I know that. My dad paid my rent, and paid for my school. I lost my job and did nothing for a while. But I also got up went out put in applications got a job, lost a job for a kid to babysit, got another job interview. So yeah if u wanna throw anything back about me then so be it. You’re not the only person that suffers from depression, I have since I was 13 or 14. I tried to kill myself when I was 14. Your not the only one. But you also cant use it as an excuse and let it hold you back. If I did, id be dead… and my entire family knows that if jaiden didn’t come into my life when he did, id be in a dumpster dead some where. I’m not trying to hurt you, but if u are as depressed as you think you are you need to go get help. I don’t like taking pills so I found a way to work through it on my own, which took a lot, a lot of break downs, I don’t wanna hurt you, but you need to get up and focus on your life, you were suppose to get your ged in nov. that didn’t happen. You were suppose to try and go back to school and that didn’t happen. Im not perfact I did the same shyt. I still do but I have at least put some effort into trying to get my life together and it seems like your not. All about getting new boots and some stupid toy for your birthday. That’s not growing up. I don’t ask for anything for my bday christmas anything. I own one bra and it’s a fuckin d cup to fuckin small for my dd tits. But im not complaining. Cuz if I need to go to walmart im gonna get clothes and socks and diapers for jaiden rather then buying a bra I desprately need for my damn boobs. I suffer through the wire poking me and shyt falling out. I got earings for my birthday and I begged my mom not to get them and to use the money for something more use ful as her bills or for jaiden. Kathryn im not trying to hurt you but make a point. You act like the world hates you you cant do anything unless your mom takes you. Which is just insane. You didn’t go to the doc cuz your mom wouldn’t take you. You live in NY there are buses and cabs, you can do it yourself yours a big girl. My mom don’t take me everywhere, I try to get a ride when I can get its easier, but I take jaiden to the doc on the bus, I went to work on the bus, mind u I had to leave 2 hours b4 I had to be in work to get jaiden to a sitter and then to work, 2 buses and 2 hours, same thing for the trip home, but I did it cuz it needed to be done. I don’t wanna rip you into pieces and all but you act like your mom is out to attack you and she not, my mom does the same thing for me but it’s called tough love… im still here if u need to talk and all but you need to really rethink somethings in your life. As do I, I know that so if u wanna attack me don’t waste your time.. im sorry for being harsh but u needed to hear somethings, I have held off long enough and im just trying to be a friend. Sorry for being rude or mean or whatever u wanna call it but it’s the truth and im sorry the truth hurts, I know that all too well… if you choose to hate me forever, then I wish you the best of luck…

Kathryn - (10:49:44 AM): sorry you feel that way
(10:49:51 AM): and i NEVER said anything about her daughter
(10:49:52 AM): EVER
(10:49:56 AM): thats her talking shit
(10:50:09 AM): all i said is what you saw. abouth er saying lily pooped
(10:50:18 AM): and then she comes at me saying lily is smarter than bella
(10:50:40 AM): but listen if you really feel that way about then then fine thats your opinion dont wanna be my friend fine your choice but once again she got another friend against me
(10:50:43 AM): i hate that stupid bitch
(10:50:52 AM): have a great life amanda i wish you nothing but the best for you and jaiden

Me - I'm not gonna do this reply stuff if your gonna sign off... then so be it, your just running away from my opinion which probably is the truth cuz you dont want to talk about. I didnt say you said anything specific about lily, but u involved her. a mother is suppose to be proud of their child, whether she is really is advanced or isnt thats not yours or mines concern, you shouldnt get u upset cuz shes a proud mom, my mom was proud of me even when i was in 5th garde and had a 2nd grade reading level, but being a mom shes proud no matter what!! thats what moms do. i'm not trying to hurt you, not the least bit, friends are suppose to tell u the truth, i just told my friend valerie she needs to stop getting mad at her bf over this one girl coming around or shes gonna lose him forever. thats all kathryn, im still here for you, but i cant help if u if you keep this phoney image of your life up. you need to get help if u are so depressed, and get on meds. you need to stop focusing on your mom bashing you and just get up and prove her wrong and your self right... im sorry kathryn for all this happeneing but the truth needs to be said. you act like everyone hates you and thats not tru. your mom calls u fat and lazy, so get up and lose weight and do something. hell i gained 40lbs since may... cant wait to get my dvds back to start working out...i do hope everything works out for u


previous entry: 00029.

next entry: 00031. To Whom It May Concern

0 likes, 0 comments

[ | add comment ]

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.

Confirmation Code

No comments.

Online Friends
Offline Friends