fragile

07/27/2015

140 pounds today
Still struggling for control
Got told off by a girl
I had *considered* my friend
Basically told me
To stop calling her
I was selfish
And Needy
And all around pain in the ass
Doesn't want to talk me down
When I'm upset
Hope I can avoid her after that confrontation
Couldn't help crying afterwards
Why do people enjoy making me
Feel bad about myself
If they know I'm fragile
Why do they trigger me
But its good to have these reminders
In case I ever forget the full extent
Of my worthlessness
How dare I exist as defective person
In a sea of confident capable self sufficient world of people
This will surely give me some
Back ground noise
To give the thoughts of punishing myself
More credibility
And its just what the doctor ordered right now
I needed the reminder
I should thank her