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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: THE TRUTH. THE GOVERNMENT.

next entry: I feel like my neck is being ripped apart tonight.

THE TRUTH WHOLE THING.

06/08/2016

Okay well I was asked to make this post. Hi everyone. I really am scared to do this but I hope that maybe someone else has the same symptoms or part of them. I will just post what I post and I hope that you can follow along. I know that I am dying. Any second really but if I can help at least one person to know that they are not alone then it was worth it. Keep the faith. Jesus is real. Much more powerful then these things. Also my best friend and fiancee have lived together 2 years and I have no idea where she is but we both have been suffering from this. I am scared but I am tired of being silent. IT IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. These are just a part of my symptoms.
I had graves disease and had to have my thyroid removed. Tenderness around throat? How can I make anyone understand......My throat has been THINNED. like.......cut. frankly. I have caught doctors hiding things from us and lying to my face. They are told not to treat us.
if i reach down there i feel something like a flap that spans the width of what is left of my throat. ther e is no hole in the back of my throat anymore, only a wall.
when I swallow, i feel it in the back of my head. for years i had the feeling of being pricked like with needles. they said i had fibromyalgia.
felt like spider webs all over my face, nothing there. hearing weird noises in my ears, nothing there. i felt muscles being cut. but when they latchied onto my shoulder or collar bones, i screamed. literally. i am nothing more then a lab rat now. society deems me worthless, so is that not how we get treated? you would never imagine what has happened to me and my girl in the past 2 years and in the past 6 months? bizarre things. I think im focusing on the wrong things.
Im also a Christian if you cared to know.
i felt them come into my jaw and spine. i feel them constantly. trying to raise my eyebrows even feel them in my forehead. you can see a brown line about an inch wide is how it started on my forehead when it first went up there. now my whole forehead has been taken over. my face. my actual eyeballs are loose. i can feel little things dart up my spine and into my head. frankly, this thing has moved upand up and up, and it doesnt even look..........like where you see the back of my head its not where it should be. they create some thick layers of skin.
i probably sound nuts. but its true.
OH MY GOD
THOSE LOOK LIKE THE BEADS THAT I FEEL. LIKE WITH YOUR FINGERS you can feel these ball/beadlike things in my body, around my arms. in my sides, EVERYWHERE.
they feel like little balls or beads to the touch.
or maybe thats not what that is. but it startled me.
no doctors will help me. i had one ask me if i swallowed METAL. like rods of it cuz there was so much metal in my midsection. which is now hard up thru my chest like a bone or metal.
i have a thick layers of skin around my neck like a collar. its how it moved up. felt like things exploding in my stomach, felt like hot acid boiling every night. then id feel even the seat through my back in the car.
frankly..it felt like hairs all down my back. thing is i chopped my hair off when i got sickest. thankfully now its starting to grow back. but long hair......yeah.
I have not even started on how they bored thru my throat they are thick and wide and painful and i can reach into my mouth and feel them with my own fingers. This is madness. and yet we have pictures and videos of it as it progressed. we caught these terrible monsters or wires or whatever on video. in my mouth. its terrible.
Frankly this has moved up and up and up like fingers and metal and ball/beadlike things and I cant take it anymore. the part that makes it worse is that i can still walk and run but from the neck up am a monster from these things, tho they ARE all OVER my body. I need help like no other. I feel like I am being turned into a metal monster. I am so scared.


People keep telling me that I SHOULDNT tell people what is happening to them, and just let them think they have just worms. I dont know how to do that. God wouldnt have let me go thru the wacky towns, the walmart that was set up for me LITERALLY, the weird people following us and so much more. I dont know how to believe that He would let me see the truth just to keep it to myself. I am being TORTURED daily by these things. They could have terminated me already if not for the power of Jesus Christ. Every day I deal and struggle with fear, and doubt and cry my eyes out because shes gone and I dont wanna die here with unfinished business. BUT..I still believe. I know. That God is in control. Its not JUST people who did drugs and were drunks like i did and was that are getting this. Gods PEOPLE. His CHOSEN are getting this. I am chosen as well but thats a different story. There may only be a million of us so far and maybe my whole life WAS a plant with everyone in it being put there on purpose. I dont care. JESUS IS LORD. And I have to believe, no I know that His plan for me is more then what I allowed it to be for so long. But I am awake now. Awake and alive and sick as a dog. Struck down but not destroyed. think ill make some of this my status. they can do their dirty work from underground and try to enslave this world, but Jesus has already won. how can i keep silent? with whats already happened to me i know the price that i will pay for telling the truth and not shutting up. i know i cant fight this alone. im not arrogant about it at all, in fact I feel really inadaquete. idk what He wants me to do, but I am trying to prepare myself NOW so that when He calls? I will be ready to go to battle. Because He has already won the war

Walmart is part of their organization yes. I just meant that it was part of the setup that was laid out for me when I discovered the truth and contacted every single major newspaper in this country about it, as well as spread it all over their facebook walls. Yeah Im not doing that again.

Like I said it is about mind control and programming real people and copying us so to speak. They want control, and there are about a million or so of us documented so far that already have had speakers in our ears, a chip in our eye, different things happened to some of us h aving to do with the Illuminati. It is a very complicated thing, these things.

Manufactured straight in the pit of hell.
From it I should say.
Idc what people think, like I said they want to make us all slaves. Jesus is the only way out.

You do realize that some of us cant die right?
Literally.
Unless by a gun. Thats why they are trying to take our guns. So we cant kill ourselves.
Im saying the ones that have been programmed, we cant die in normal ways.
If there is a normal way ha.
I tried 17 times literally to kill myself, obviously unsucsessfully. I tried to sell my soul for love. My girl appeared shortly afterwards. But I believe that Jesus has my soul. But I have lost a lot of my empathy. I still have my gifts. But havent used them much in a long time.
I have always been able to tell people things about themselves that I had no way of knowing.
I used to be able to take people's pain away.
I have always seen things that others cant.
I may have been chosen by God, but I was also chosen by the enemy.
When I started to do the right thing, they kept saying they were listening, and they followed us. They even set up a whole walmart to make me lose my mind and ended up in a fake psych ward. Even the doc that gave me pills doesnt exist. He gave me meds for parkinsons and pain meds for side effects from their torture.
I am torutred every day. That is what this is. The wires cut like razor blades. Its not a joke. as you well know.
My poor ears. My throat. Its all coming down. Even in my head. Huge dents that werent there before.

I know a lot of people.
I think I am one of those people.
I went into the hospital, and they drugged me and wouldnt let me wake up, except to sign papers then immeditaly drug me again. My fiancee was t here telling them to stop and they wouldnt.
I have this thing that has been growing in my body. We showed video and pics to the doctors on the tablet and not 5 minutes later it got stolen from the hospital room.
I have a brand that is a check mark on my arm that I do not know where it came from but was in the last year.

I havent been able to really feel...For a very long time. My memories of my childhood are gone. I see them only because I remember videos of them my parents kept, tons and tons to remind me. I see it in pictures like snapshots. But that is all. No memory of it. My life, I know the bad I have done and I remember the peace from Jesus that I am so desperately seeking His face for every day. I get moments when I feel okay, but I..Remember things that I convinced myself were just manufactured in my head. Things people that I have known and trusted my whole life have done to me. I am nothing but a slave to them.

I was made for more. I almost have my degree in Psychology, I am not insane. I am afraid that my whole life and the people in it have just been a setup. I dont care about the being followed and freaky tests they put me through. I am being TORTURED every day in my body from this. I need to know what is happening.

I havent felt...Alive.....Since 2011

I stayed silent for too long. They even set up a whole walmart just to trap and test me. Went to a fake psych ward where the doc is not even real, and he gave me meds for parkinsons which i dont have and pain meds for the side effecs of bodily torture. it was horrible.
they tormented me there. i cant even describe it.

I was born to be a warrior for Him. I have always had un natural strength if I can put it that way. Like physically.

Idk where it comes from. It takes 6-9 grown men to hold me down. Idk. I feel Him and I am begging Him to do something, to move.

previous entry: THE TRUTH. THE GOVERNMENT.

next entry: I feel like my neck is being ripped apart tonight.

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This has got to be fake... Wow.

[Oprah Noodlemantra|0 likes] [|reply]

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