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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: d

next entry: THE TRUTH WHOLE THING.

THE TRUTH. THE GOVERNMENT.

06/06/2016

Okay well I was asked to make this post. Hi everyone. I really am scared to do this but I hope that maybe someone else has the same symptoms or part of them. I will just post what I post and I hope that you can follow along. I know that I am dying. Any second really but if I can help at least one person to know that they are not alone then it was worth it. Keep the faith. Jesus is real. Much more powerful then these things. Also my best friend and fiancee have lived together 2 years and I have no idea where she is but we both have been suffering from this. I am scared but I am tired of being silent. IT IS ALL ABOUT CHOICES. These are just a part of my symptoms.
I had graves disease and had to have my thyroid removed. Tenderness around throat? How can I make anyone understand......My throat has been THINNED. like.......cut. frankly. I have caught doctors hiding things from us and lying to my face. They are told not to treat us.
if i reach down there i feel something like a flap that spans the width of what is left of my throat. ther e is no hole in the back of my throat anymore, only a wall.
when I swallow, i feel it in the back of my head. for years i had the feeling of being pricked like with needles. they said i had fibromyalgia.
felt like spider webs all over my face, nothing there. hearing weird noises in my ears, nothing there. i felt muscles being cut. but when they latchied onto my shoulder or collar bones, i screamed. literally. i am nothing more then a lab rat now. society deems me worthless, so is that not how we get treated? you would never imagine what has happened to me and my girl in the past 2 years and in the past 6 months? bizarre things. I think im focusing on the wrong things.
Im also a Christian if you cared to know.
i felt them come into my jaw and spine. i feel them constantly. trying to raise my eyebrows even feel them in my forehead. you can see a brown line about an inch wide is how it started on my forehead when it first went up there. now my whole forehead has been taken over. my face. my actual eyeballs are loose. i can feel little things dart up my spine and into my head. frankly, this thing has moved upand up and up, and it doesnt even look..........like where you see the back of my head its not where it should be. they create some thick layers of skin.
i probably sound nuts. but its true.
OH MY GOD
THOSE LOOK LIKE THE BEADS THAT I FEEL. LIKE WITH YOUR FINGERS you can feel these ball/beadlike things in my body, around my arms. in my sides, EVERYWHERE.
they feel like little balls or beads to the touch.
or maybe thats not what that is. but it startled me.
no doctors will help me. i had one ask me if i swallowed METAL. like rods of it cuz there was so much metal in my midsection. which is now hard up thru my chest like a bone or metal.
i have a thick layers of skin around my neck like a collar. its how it moved up. felt like things exploding in my stomach, felt like hot acid boiling every night. then id feel even the seat through my back in the car.
frankly..it felt like hairs all down my back. thing is i chopped my hair off when i got sickest. thankfully now its starting to grow back. but long hair......yeah.
I have not even started on how they bored thru my throat they are thick and wide and painful and i can reach into my mouth and feel them with my own fingers. This is madness. and yet we have pictures and videos of it as it progressed. we caught these terrible monsters or wires or whatever on video. in my mouth. its terrible.
Frankly this has moved up and up and up like fingers and metal and ball/beadlike things and I cant take it anymore. the part that makes it worse is that i can still walk and run but from the neck up am a monster from these things, tho they ARE all OVER my body. I need help like no other. I feel like I am being turned into a metal monster. I am so scared.


People keep telling me that I SHOULDNT tell people what is happening to them, and just let them think they have just worms. I dont know how to do that. God wouldnt have let me go thru the wacky towns, the walmart that was set up for me LITERALLY, the weird people following us and so much more. I dont know how to believe that He would let me see the truth just to keep it to myself. I am being TORTURED daily by these things. They could have terminated me already if not for the power of Jesus Christ. Every day I deal and struggle with fear, and doubt and cry my eyes out because shes gone and I dont wanna die here with unfinished business. BUT..I still believe. I know. That God is in control. Its not JUST people who did drugs and were drunks like i did and was that are getting this. Gods PEOPLE. His CHOSEN are getting this. I am chosen as well but thats a different story. There may only be a million of us so far and maybe my whole life WAS a plant with everyone in it being put there on purpose. I dont care. JESUS IS LORD. And I have to believe, no I know that His plan for me is more then what I allowed it to be for so long. But I am awake now. Awake and alive and sick as a dog. Struck down but not destroyed. think ill make some of this my status. they can do their dirty work from underground and try to enslave this world, but Jesus has already won. how can i keep silent? with whats already happened to me i know the price that i will pay for telling the truth and not shutting up. i know i cant fight this alone. im not arrogant about it at all, in fact I feel really inadaquete. idk what He wants me to do, but I am trying to prepare myself NOW so that when He calls? I will be ready to go to battle. Because He has already won the war

I lost her to her family taking her to rehab which is the last thing she needed. She has this as well and they will think she is insane. I dont know where she is, and that girl adores me, shes my love. She hasnt contacted me in weeks, her phone is disconnected, and she is jst gone as if she never was. I am scared.

I am very discouraged tonight, but I know that Jesus loves me. My spine is creaking/cracking.stretching and im scared yet oddly okay. Its hard to explain really.

Walmart is part of their organization yes. I just meant that it was part of the setup that was laid out for me when I discovered the truth and contacted every single major newspaper in this country about it, as well as spread it all over their facebook walls. Yeah Im not doing that again.

But then again so is Denny's and Mc'Donalds as well as a lot more things people think are innocent.


i start talking about it, and the most bizarre events of my life started happening and my whole physical and mortal world fell apart, losing all but my one treasure in this life........straight to the point, why does one get persecuted for opening their mouth and another doesnt?
Not sure I understood that.
Understand*

It is the government, that is what I am talking about.

Like I said it is about mind control and programming real people and copying us so to speak. They want control, and there are about a million or so of us documented so far that already have had speakers in our ears, a chip in our eye, different things happened to some of us h aving to do with the Illuminati. It is a very complicated thing, these things.

Manufactured straight in the pit of hell.
From it I should say.
Idc what people think, like I said they want to make us all slaves. Jesus is the only way out.

Some of us already found our lives to be nothing more then a giant setup. Was always told I was ' one in a million ' ' special ' etc. I dont want tobe that kind of special. Where everyone I meet is put there on purpose. No. I am set free now by God and I wont turn back. Never again.


Having handlers as well. Another long story.

Like I said. You should watch the show Dollhouse. And maybe Revolution.

previous entry: d

next entry: THE TRUTH WHOLE THING.

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