Growing Egos

FRIDAY
21st February 2014, 8.40 PM.

Hello people! It's been quite some time since I've last posted an entry here. ^_^

So far, Abric has been quite good so far. Time seems to literally fly by this days. Since it won't wait for me, I'll have to learn how to catch it before it goes too far. How can I do that, though, when I'm still learning how to keep up with it? My common test is in two weeks time. By the way, as I've probably already said some time back, I joined Abric because it mainly focuses on academic subjects and its ukhrawi subjects aren't as tough as the other Russer Mud schools. However, I wasn't expecting the standard of ukhrawi to be...err... lower than I thought. It's not Primary 1 standard (of course not!) but it's not exactly Secondary 1 standard. We're still learning the...umm...how do you say it?...the difference of the feminine and masculine words? That's quite simple. Please don't take it the wrong way, though. I'm not crowing over the standard. Ha! Why would I? I'm quite bad at Arabic myself! This so-called "low standard" is the recap that I need since I'm such a lazy ass (pardon me), I can't be bothered to pick up my textbooks and revise everything I've learned back at Shard (though, I probably should). Plus, it gives me a bit of an advantage since I know a little more than the others. Please, please, please don't think I'm boasting. God, why can't I speak out my abilities without thinking that I'm boasting when I actually don't want to boast?

Also, as you probably (do not?) know, I'm not afraid to share what I know. This is different, however. I know if I were to accidentally make a remark like, "How can you not know?" towards my classmates, the most likely response I would get is, "You are smarty-pants what...you're from Shard." What I think is this: it does not matter which school I come from. A good student wouldn't rely on the school to study. He or she would pick up a textbook on his or her own and study just like that! Besides, from what I've heard, Abric students have been learning the difference between feminine and masculine Arabic words since Primary 1 so they shouldn't have a problem, right? Yes...and no. They tell me that they keep forgetting. How can you memorise something for six years and still forget it?

However...they do hold a point. If some schools have extremely low standards (again, please don't take this the wrong way...I am not referring to Abric's standards), some students who are not curious enough to ask questions may not know about things that they should know. So, I suppose the standard of the school does affect some students. However, if you're smart enough to know that learning never stops at any age, what's to stop you from picking up a textbook and reading it?

There's one problem, though...this standard of Arabic is easy, way too easy. It's so easy that it's gone to my head! What I mean to say is this...you know that I don't like to boast or show off (or at least, I try not to), don't you? Lately, though...most girls in the class (I don't know...or care...about the boys) still either have not memorised the difference of feminine and masculine Arabic words or simply do not understand at all. Some of them ask me to help them and of course, I willingly explain to them. However, with each praise I get and with every second of knowing that I have the higher advantage this time, my head has swelled up. I've become proud. I've started to show off with the intention of showing off. I hate it. I hate this feeling of showing off. That's why whenever I say to my Abric friends, "That's so easy...", I immediately aplogise. I hate this intention of showing off because I know I am not that smart. I mean, I could be, but I'm lazy (that doesn't make me stupid...well, actually it kind of does, doesn't it?). I'm not a smarty-pants. I'm not better than anyone because there's bound to be someone better than me out there. I even know them! Far-Away Honey is better than me! Shuffles is better than me! Mr. Willy Wonka Dragon (the smartest boy in my class when I used to be in Shard, remember him? He's unforgettable. ) is better than me! I'm trying my best to squash down my ego before it grows bigger than it should be. I don't want to be a person who thinks she or he is better than anyone else!

Hope you had an awesome day, everyone.
"Life is like a rollercoaster." - Night Star