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the ramblings from the pit of no return
by sweetbreeze

previous entry: 2. sheltered lives and other stuff

next entry: 4. worse night ever

3. rushed

03/03/2011


i feel rushed on everything and nobodys happy with what ive done so far. ive come a long ways. i grew up in a severely abusive home and then as an adult i lived in an abusive relationship for 6 years. cant nobody be happy for how far ive come. i can stand up on my own two feet and not cower when im around people. its just so fucked up. i was talkin ta josh yesturday on one of our drives so that we could smoke and we were discussin my ex. i told him that i feel terrible that im still married but financually i cant get a divorce since my ex wants me to pay for it all. i cant do it considerin that i just lost my job. my parents want me ta get a divorce asap and its just not possible at the moment. josh wants ta marry me so bad and i feel so bad cuz its not possible at the moment. its just so hard and it sucks. im puttin everybody out and its my fault. i should be able ta pay for a divorce and yet i cant. im glad that josh understands and hes patient cuz he knows that i will not go back to my ex. i wont live in that hell anymore. im better than that and im stronger than that

previous entry: 2. sheltered lives and other stuff

next entry: 4. worse night ever

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if they really care and are understanding, they will wait . there should be no hurry to get married. you take care of yourself and all the other priorites will fall into the right place.
marriage should not stress you out.
you be pacing yourself.

[empire state|0 likes] [|reply]

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