*24* Update

i know this isnt the best layout for an update...but i figured what the hell.

anyways, tim kicked me and the kids out (back in june) and well things have been ok. josh asked me back and so i said sure. i went to court for an order of protection against tim...needless to say, i dropped it and signed papers to get the divorce going. i have so much anger in me towards him. idk how to handle it. i get so mad that i cry. weird huh? anyways, i just really cant stand him. he went online and posted some VERY personal stuff about me. not to mention he wants to see my daughter after 5 months. when we went to court...he had signed papers that we have no kids together and wants nothing to do with me or my kids. but now he wants to see just her (not my son) ugh.

well i was stayn with josh. and we started to fight. i was on the pill cause i really am not stable enough to have another kid..anyways, i kept forgettin to take the pill and that made me bleed for a month straight...josh thought i was cheating...and so i punched him in the face and left. boy did he feel like an ass. we arent living together now...but we are still "together"...if you get what i mean. i love the boy...but thats just what he is..a boy. he hasnt grown up enough to take care of me and the kids. lol. shrugs. thats what i get i guess.

addie growin so big. as is ehren. but i do get sad sometimes. i love tim...and hate what he did to me and hate what he's turned me into. i honestly dont know who i am anymore. i use to be so happy go lucky...and now i cry so much for no reason at all... what do you do when there is so much sadness and anger built up inside you....??