Give me strength
Why does doing the logical thing always suck so bad? Shouldn't it be the bigger reward, or the easier thing to do? More people would do it if that were the case. In my case yet once again it has to do with military and our life there in.
Josh brought up out of the blue last night that his lieutenant offered him a deployment whenever he wants it. She had overheard him talking I guess about our "money issues". They aren't even really issues and he told her that, it would just be nice to have the money of course. Things are tight since we had to take out a small loan on top of the car to pay off the credit card and part of my school for this semester. It is doable , just tight, and a little uncomfortable at times.
Anyways. The clencher is this. Josh gets to reenlist either in November or March. We aren't wholly sure yet because in order to reenlist he had to push back his exit date because you have to be retainable for 2 years after your move. He was like 4 months under two years so they pushed it back so we could have this move. Either way He will get to reenlist this coming year. If he reenlists while on a deployment the bonus is tax free. Not only is his bonus tax free but so is all the money he makes meaning his extra deployment pay and all that, he ends up getting a bigger check then usual each month. It would be nice to have the tax free money, it is a big chunk extra when it comes to his bonus.
There are a few other thoughts I had about this. I hate winter. We take a deployment in the next year and we can have alot of sway over when he leaves. I for sure more then anything want him here for her first birthday. Which is February. So say he were to leave in March - That would put him home by September if things worked out right meaning I would not be left home for the worst part of winter. He would leave at the end and come home before it started again.
As of right now he isn't set to deploy til 2012 since he just got home. That works horribly with us trying to conceive another child. He will either end up gone through the pregnancy again if we get pregnant when we were wanting to or he will leave right after the birth. I know people do it all the time but if we can control the situation why not? If he leaves in or around March as we have been talking about by the time he comes home again Claire will be at least a year and a half if not close to 2 years old. Making it a great time to try for the next one putting her close to 2 1/2 or 3 when the baby were to be born. Then he would also still have at least a year before he deploys again possibly more because we will be at the end of our tour here. If they move us before he deploys again it would tack on another good while because he has to train and all that at the new base before they will deploy him.
I dunno. There really isn't anything to think about. All around it is the logical thing to do. But the logical thing usually hurts the worst and this is that scenario. I don't ever want to tell him to go on a deployment when he doesn't absolutely have to do it. I don't really ever want him to go of course, what person truly does? But I think I am going to have to tell him to. He would reenlist there and his money would be direct deposited into the account. The half you get up front. That would pay off most of our bills that we have at this moment and the rest would pay ALOT on a second vehicle for me if that is what we chose to do, or save it til he got home to get one since while he is gone I don't need it anyways. Then when he came home we would be sitting in a much more comfortable place which would make not only having another child easier, but our life much better. We would be able to take a vacation, or trips into the city, those kinds of things.
Gah! I don't know. This sucks so bad I cannot even think straight. But if it is inevitably going to happen why not let it happen when we can control the situation you know? When he leaves, where he reenlists, TTC and all those things?