My niece Ciara is only 9 years old and her little body is forming in a way that makes me want to lock her in a bubble... She has ALWAYS had a big bubble butt... now her chest is popping out... I am hoping that her attitude stays like it is she knows she can do what ever it is she sets her mind to she gets great grades in school shes a star soccer player (this is year 6 I believe).. She cleans like a mad woman like right now she is moving EVERY thing outta the living room so she can vacuum.. She isn't scared to speak her mind... She told her father a few weeks ago that if he wishes to come visit she would not be going anywhere with him that he can come hang out in the apartment...
In soccer past few games she hasn't really been playing because the coach kept screaming at her a few games ago and it seems everytime she is playing hard the other parents start whining that the coach is favoring Ciara and not letting the other girls have a chance... My mother said she had a better practice tonight so hopefully she feels go enough to play hard tomorrow.
I know in the future there will be boyfriends... GAH.... I just pray that she does let one boy screw up her head... her bitter mother has talks with her about keeping her mind on school and sports not boys... Ciara has had little boyfriends -in the past couple of years they have all let her tell them what to do and when we try to correct her they all said "Oh no it's alright she can tell me what to do" I fear and hope she somehow keeps thats power.
She chose to play the cello in school the thing is taller then her.. She chose it because on 3 kids in the whole school picked it and in her words "Being different is great!" She likes to go against the crowd yet she likes to have what the other kids have... just in different colors..
My sister has been a single mom for 9 years she had Ciara when she was 19 years old and from before Ciara was born my sister has made sure she has everything she needed and everything she could want... My sister went back to work when Ciara was a week old some points in Ciara's life she worked 3 jobs at a time.... She didn't really bond with Ciara until she was 4 years old but the kid had everything and went places... first beach trip was at 2 months old.... shes been to the beach atleast 3 times every year (3 hours away) shes been to NYC 3 times, New jersey shes been to VA beach.... It's because of Ciara I ever got to go to NyC... even the beach my first time there was when I was 12.... My sister put Ciara is soccer at 5 years old sports are so good for kids...
My sister has spoiled her child but at the same time is it really spoiling her to actually let her enjoy her childhood? to make sure she has done everything so that when it's time to grow up she's ready to... We sure didn't have a "normal" childhood so somethings put me at a lost.
She's head strong.. Shes a worker... Shes a punk.... Shes a drama queen... Shes spoiled.. Some days I have to remember she is 9 years old.... I only hope for the best for her everyone that comes in to her life just loves her to pieces now I am going to cry.... I started this just getting the fact that shes no longer a baby off my mind and turned it in to a long entry.
Today I started thinking about Christmas and how I would be planning a first birthday started wondering where my life would be right now how would I be dealing with everything it takes to be a mom.... would I be happier? Would I have ever gone out with Ian? Would I be working at Giant right now? I really don't think about my first pregnancy very much like I will have a thought of it when I think about this past maybe but never much thought of it I never let myself connect to it at all it was never real to me... unlike the 2nd one. |
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