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You Can Dance if You Want To
by powerofwhy

previous entry: Opportunities

next entry: Shots in the dark

Groundhogs and old stories

02/02/2011

Today is Groundhog day, all over the world groundhogs emerge from holes to predict the weather like furry barometers. Have you ever seen the Bill Murray movie "Groundhog Day"? I have been to the town where it was filmed, was given a tour of it by a jovial old drag queen.

This entry continues the telling of my story, which started the entry before last.

When I was seven years old we got our first computer, a commodore 64 with like a meg of memory. I learned to program basic, entering code for games from the computer magazines of the time. This knowledge of programming became important later in my life.

We lived in an old brick house in town, blocks away from the city park. My room was in the attic, a large blue space with slanted ceilings, covered in cabinets that would lead to tunnels to strange and secret worlds. I could have stayed alone in that blue polyhedron of a room forever.

I got into books early and started staying up late on weekends reading piles of literature from the local library. One of my few good memories of my stepfather is that he would take us to the local library for books because he was into learning. Learning, surprisingly artistic woodworking, and beating up anything smaller than him. That's Dad.

I got obsessed with different subjects and read piles of books about them, back then it was archeology, chess, dragons, oriental religion, robotics, medieval history. I do the same thing today with different subjects. One thing I miss about childhood is having the time to read more. What do you miss?

Mother's love for Tolkien turned me on to the fantasy genre and then to D&D. Our neighbors on one side were extreme asshole Christians. They thought that D&D was satanic and acted like we were not there or less than human. This is the beginning of my aversion to organized religion, I do not condone condemnation of art on the basis of concept rather than content. Besides, if you are going to get that into religion I recommend one that encourages extreme facial hair or ridiculous hats, at least get something weird out of the conformity.

What is the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up? Did you become it? When I was three I wanted to be a rhinoceros when I grew up. Maybe this is still an obtainable goal, it would be better than being an accountant or fast food worker. After that I wanted to be a doctor. Then a clown.

At seven I wanted to be a magician when I grew up and started reading every book I could find to learn tricks. I held onto this goal until around age 12, doing shows for school projects and small parties. I framed the first dollar I made as a magician, and still have it somewhere. I was very good for my age, but after going through all the books in the local libraries I was not sure where to go with it. If I would have thought to look for an apprenticeship with an older magician my life might have gone very differently. In time I moved on, but I can still remember some of the old tricks, and can make coins disappear with the best of them.

I continued through elementary school, getting A's without really having to try, building on my passions for books, magic, art, programming, and music. I remember skating parties, 80's music and homo-erotic 80's cartoons, daydreaming a lot, the Goonies, comparing parts with the neighborhood girls, finger painting, not wanting to say the "under God" part of the pledge of allegiance, piano recitals, getting glasses in the second grade and finding out how much sharper the world could look. After all that I started junior high and we moved and life took a darker turn.

previous entry: Opportunities

next entry: Shots in the dark

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Reading is still a HUGE part of my life, as is writing. I will admit that I don't have half the time for reading anymore like I wished I did. I do still read a lot though on the computer.

And I had to laugh about the computer thing. I learned to program on a Vic-20 by also doing the codes from the magazines. LOL it was a great time in life.

[Music God Of Bloop|0 likes] [|reply]

We didn't get our first computer until I was 14.. it completely changed my life. If I hadn't spent so much time on the computer then I probably wouldn't have had any of the higher paying jobs that I've had thus far in my life. It also gave me confidence and discovering people through words instead of physical interactions while simultaneously pushing me towards a desire for more physical interactions.

Books have always been in and out of my life. I would get into them and then something else would catch my fancy and then when I'd get bored I'd remember books again and dive into the fantasy then fall out...etc.. this still happens to me. I keep thinking that I should read more..I have TONS of time for reading, but it seems to be that I buy more books without reading the ones that I have. I just picked up a couple that deal with Indigo children/adults (you may be interested in this concept), kundalini, and other kind of spirituality type stuff.. I am also in the middle of "Water for Elephants" and "Great Expectations" and 2 other random books. I had to read Great Expectations in high school and the book ticked me off.. I hated that the character spent his entire life wanting/hoping for only one girl.. I thought it was stupid and ridiculous... uuntillll I related that character to myself with my feelings for Adam.. then I decided to reread it (over 10yrs later) and decide how I would feel about it now.

I wanted to be a Vet for the longest time.. I believe I even did a report on it once. No, I didn't become a vet nor does it appeal to me at all anymore. When I got older I leaned towards Graphic Arts because others told me thats what I should do.. but then decided that I couldn't take what I loved to do and make it into something that I'm forced to do for survival. I also wanted to be a writer.. I suppose I sort of am one in general.. but don't think I'd be interested in doing it for money either. Many many people read my old poetry and such and have told me to write a book.. or if I ever wrote a book then they would read it. eh.. I'd like to write a childrens story someday.. In college I attempted to be a photographer, that didn't pan out either. I enjoy experiencing new things.. I was just thinking today that I don't think I could see myself doing one job for the rest of my life.. this has been my problem with College.. the thought of spending loads of money to be trained in one specific field that I would be doing for the rest of my life just doesn't sit well with me. I'd rather change jobs and learn new things.. I don't need to climb any sort of corporate ladder... I don't find success in that way.

What do I miss about childhood? Imagination. I used to use it a lot as a kid.. There weren't any other kids my age on my street so I played by myself a lot. I have actually been working lately with my imagination and envisioning things because I recognize that I don't use it enough. This is why I should get into books more.. I want to turn off the TV (which I don't really watch much of anyway) and just get into some stories.

I would love to see you do magic tricks

Everytime I get new glasses or contacts when I haven't had them it always always amazes me.. its like seeing a whole new world. Such detail and clarity in everything.

I hope there is an ellipsis at the end of this story and will continue on the thought through your life. I am enjoying this.

-Love and Light.

[Evidence Of JoyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

oh.. and call me old fashioned, but I had always wanted to be a housewife.. or rather.. if I had any 'full time job' then I would want it to be that. But as you know, I am not ready for all that, if ever. But I've always liked the thought of staying home and taking care of the children and doing all the cleaning and cooking and such and maybe maintaining a part time job for extra money. Maybe some day..

[Evidence Of JoyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

[Tetamarina|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Classic case of the left nut not knowing what the dick is doing. LOL

LIke I told the owner of the network, I'm not playing SHIT by them or for them until they come off a letter expressly releasing me from any and ALL liability.

And yeah, SLS isn't the most original thing in the world but it's perfect for those days you want something heavy and are just in the mood to really wreck havoc.

[Music God Of Bloop|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. It's gonna get a lot funnier and more epic as they go along. I have HUGE thigns planned for it, including contests, call-ins, live interviews, and even some remote stuff once I get going. Also gonna be doing some show promotion.

Man, I got a GREAT WV story that I will share next show. I think you will REALLY laugh at it. The 7th Heaven song is epic. They also have a 20 minute POP one as well, but haven't been able to get my hands on it yet. Their singer actually was a runner-up on British Idol, though the band is actually from Chicago. LOL

As funny as this is gonna sound, I actually swiped that saying from the After The Rain CD from Nelson. LOL It just hit home with me and has always stuck in my mind. Zappa was a brilliant man, decades ahead of his time.

[Music God Of Bloop|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: He was one of a kind. Him and Phil Lynott are definitely rocking it up again. From Thin Lizzy to his solo stuff, Gary had a sound that was just pure thunder.

[Music God Of Bloop|0 likes] [|reply]



I'm not really into sports either.. but I hang out with any crowd. I'm extremely versatile and can mingle with any type of people.

I'm glad you enjoy reading my journey

ryc from 2 comments ago: Yes, I have noticed several times that it seems like groups of people tend to break up and get together at the same time. This happened amongst me and my roommates once.. we all broke up with our partners around the same time and it just seems to come in waves like that. I feel like I haven't dated in so long.. I was thinking last night, as I was laying there unable to sleep, that it feels very natural to be alone and the concept of being with someone is now foreign to me. I think of other people and couples and I literally look at it as if it's something I've never explored before or something. I always think that i'd like to experience Adam in that way but I don't ever seem to come across anyone else that makes me feel like that anymore. I've only really ever connected with one person on a deeper level and I'm okay with that for now, i guess. Although, right now I'm mostly fixated on exploring the world and new places/faces/things/jobs etc... to make connections in general, not necessarily any connections in depth. *shrugs*

[Evidence Of JoyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Opportunities

next entry: Shots in the dark

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