Stress.
We all suffer from it at one point or another in our lives, right? Some of us though, suffer from stress on a 24/7 basis.
I, would be one of those people.
I am ALWAYS stressed out about things. Maybe it's my curse. That's what I'm convinced of.
If it doesn't have to do with Trystan, it's something else. Family, friends, stupid drama, personal problems. You name it, I have to deal with it.
Ever since I was a kid, I have been continuously put in stressful situations. And just when I think that the storm is over, another wave comes in and swoops me up.
I just can't escape.
I found out this past weekend that Doug may be doing jail time for this crime he didn't even commit. His ex is a psycho whore, and even had ME charged when she was dating Doug, claiming that I was "harrassing" her, and that she was fearful for her life.
Give me a break lady. I'm harmless, and couldn't hurt a fly.
So anyway, long story short, this dumb bitch accused Doug of rape, and of course, I know he isn't capable of doing something so heinous...I've known him since I was 17. That's 9 years...so I think I would know what I'm talking about, right? Well, he was told by his lawyer that the only way he will walk away from these charges is if the bitch doesn't show up at his trial. Fortunately though, I was able to contact my criminal lawyer and have him take Doug on as a client. Because I knew Doug's lawyer was giving him the run around, and not doing his job properly.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed my lawyer pulls through and can come up with some way to prove Doug's innocence.
Aside from that, I have to deal with Trystan's behaviour on a daily basis. Which, in itself, is extremely stressful. The kid just DOESN'T listen! No matter what I tell him, he ignores me. It's almost like he doesn't care what I say. And I'm his mother. As long as other people are around, he will listen to them, and even me on occasion. But the second it's just me and him, he turns into a complete terror. He throws things, he hits me for no reason, he is CONSTANTLY doing everything he knows he isn't allowed to do. I know he's only going on 4, but he is extremely smart and he DOES know better.
Of course, those aren't the only things stressing me out. The list really does go on...I could be here forever if I decided to explain everything.
But I've noticed the last few days, I've been feeling rather...blah. I've had this headache that keeps coming and going since Sunday...my stomach has been upset - so much so that I hardly have an appetite - I also had indigestion for a couple of days, which was totally gross and horrible. Again, the list goes on.
So I was looking up signs and symptoms of severe stress. Apparently, stress can affect a person more than just physically. Which now, I understand a little bit more why certain things have been occuring with my psychological and social being as well.
I've copied and pasted the lists I found, and highlighted in red the symptoms I have been suffering from. Based on that, I'm very surprised I haven't ended up in the hospital as a result of the stress.
Signs and symptoms include:
Physical:
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Breathlessness
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Dizziness
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- Headaches
- Hyperventilating
- Increased colds/flu
- Increased heart rate
- Indigestion
- Impotence
- Nausea
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Palpitations
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Pre Menstrual Syndrome
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Sense of heart pounding
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Shallow breathing
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Sleeping problems
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Tension headaches
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Tingling in hands/legs
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Tremor in hands/legs
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Weight loss/gain
Psychological:
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Depressed/Anxious thinking>>
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Excess worries over health>>
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Feelings of fear
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Feeling unable to cope
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Frustration
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Hopelessness/helplessness
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Hostile
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Hypercritical of self/others
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Impatience
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Increased worrying
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Indecision
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Irritability
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Jealousy
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Lack of concentration
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Loss of confidence
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Lower self-esteem
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Mind in a whirl
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Mood swings
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Negative thinking
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Pessimistic thinking
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Rumination
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Sensitivity to criticism
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Snappy
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Stressful thinking
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Tense
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Worrying a lot
Behavioural:
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Aggression
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Agitation
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Avoidance behaviour
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Crying
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Decreased/increased sexuality
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Difficulty relaxing
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Difficulty with relationships
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Eating fast
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Eating too much/too little
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Gambling
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Hostile behaviour
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Impatience
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Increased alcohol
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Increased caffeine
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Increased smoking
Losing temper
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Making mistakes
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Nail biting
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Outbursts of anger
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Poor eye contact
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Poorer personal hygiene (I realize this is gross, but unfortunately, it's true. I still shower and such, but it's become more of a chore than anything.)
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Poor time management
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Restlessness
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Risk taking
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Substance abuse
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Talking fast
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Walking fast
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Withdrawal from relationships
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Withdrawal from activities
So, the truth here? I think I am pretty sick...in the sense that I need to get some kind of help with dealing with my stress. Because I am seriously worried that one day, it will get to the point where I give up all together. And I don't want to get to that point, because I have my boy to worry about.
And on that note, I took a picture of me and Trystan this morning and edited it a little bit. I think it's quite nice.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll update again soon.
Ciao!
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