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Monday: Relaxed as I was doing a pitious 5 hour shift from 1pm til 6. Nothing of interest in this shift. Oh apart from this. Woman says to me "What time are you on til Andrew? I reply "6." she replies "Oh." Nothing further is said. I'm on till 4 which I duly shut at 6.05, five minutes after my shift ends. Along comes woman and says "You've shut your till, I'm too late. You knew I was going on the till." I stood there dumbfounded at this stupidity, I said nothing. As my inner brain voice was currently ripping her head off and feeding it through a shredder. Anyway I say nothing as she then says "Do you not remember me asking you what time you finished?" Inner brain voice is now saying wtf you stupid trout and feeding her segmented body parts through a volcanic vent. "I'll have to get the keys now." I smile walk off and happily swipe out. I do my time and I work I don't do unpaid! It's like saying to me "You've not bought jam" When jam wasn't on the bloody list. Picked up the wife and went home.

Tuesday: Today I had to start asking customers for their postcode. Asda do it every year just to see how far their shoppers come in from. I thought this was a bad idea and I was right. I asked one elderly lady (who was shopping with an elderly friend) for their postcode. She told me but I couldn't hear as a chav (with it's mother I guess) was shouting how bloody long does it take to get a postcode, you don't need to take the f****** postcode unless it's a tv or dvd player. Chav child then starts nudging the elderly customer in front (and Irene on till 3) with trolley. Elderly customer getting quite impatient with chav tells it's mother to: "Keep their bastard son under control"

Chav Mother (Shouting): "It's a daughter and not a bastard I have a birth certificate"

(Shouting) "Sorry! get your son under control"

Chav throws trolley violently into the leg of elderly women customer. I've hit my security button and alarm (which isn't linked to anything great job there). No answer. I then think I'm not getting any help and eventually hit something where someone answers and says "This is admin darling you need to hit security." "No, they aren't answering and there aren't any managers or runners here." I then leap over my till seperating the customers, realising I'm going to get about as much help as an Asian bloke asking a member of the BNP for directions. I serve my next elderly customer backwards as I'm now on the wrong side (the customer side) of the till.

Chav then starts going on about her gran dying and she's going to be late for the funeral. Seriously if you're in a hurry why in the name of all things would you go into a supermarket to shop? Ashes to ashes, dust to.................Sorry we're late gran! They took to long to get me a replacement pack of crumpets!

Three security then eventually turn up, after which time I could of been shot, stabbed and quite literally killed in several different ways by then. First thing security shout is "Everyone calm down." Yeah thanks for that I would of never thought shouting at two people having a shouting match!

Sadly injured elderly customer didn't want to press charges. She had a damn good case for assault with a weapon in my opinion.

As I leave I get called Superman for leaping over my till.

Wednesday: Had a day to myself. Well I did all my domestic duties then did have a day to myself.

Thursday: Went to Glasgow. Had a look at rings with the mrs. Just got really annoyed with jewellers coming out and pouncing on us as we looked. I don't mind asking me for help thats fine, but asking 3 times can I help in a different way in under half a minute is somewhat testing. Met a nice little terrier that was bored outside a Sainsbury's local. Cheered him up no end and got his tail wagging! I got a reduced pizza. Got some reduced garlic slices in M&S and chips. So that was a nice reduced meal that came together! She bought one of those living dead dolls. There are 666 of them apparently. Hope she doesn't want them all! Also found an adipose (from Dr Who) teddy in Forbidden Planet. Unfortunately it was very mucky and they didn't appear to have another. The Mrs loves the adipose ever since they were in Dr Who she thinks they're really cute. Never mind they kill people eh!

Friday: Had a coat fashion parade today. She was trying to make up her mind between two sizes. Weirdly the bigger size suits her in one colour and the smaller in another. Finally the M.I.L and I managed to convince her which ones suited thankfully me and M.I.L usually agree. Took the other two back and got it refunded to her card which was less stressful than picking them up when we ordered them.

Saturday: Walk in to work early (after dropping the mrs off) to look in the overtime book. I get accosted by Tracy who says "Can you jump on a till?" I look up and down and go "Alright then." Stayed on til 10 pm as well so I did a 13 hour shift. Should boost the next wages a bit .

Sunday: Did another 12 hour shift.

Finsihed reading: Good Omens

Random Question: Have you ever stopped a fight?