I'm sitting here lamenting my failures, once again. Jon and I had a talk a few weeks ago and he really laid into the fact that I have been seriously slacking when it comes to pulling my part around the house, even though I technically have two house to take care of during the week, there are still certain things that I have promised him I will do or will help with and lately I haven't been doing my part. A big part of that has to do with me not getting enough sleep, since I cannot sleep in (unlike Jon) and yet even with the naps I take after my morning duties are done and before lunch time, I still am not getting enough sleep. And now things have taken a turn for the worse in the last week or so, with Jon having unbearable insomnia, and only falling asleep around 9AM and then I am having to let him sleep until the middle of the afternoon and now our sleep schedules are really screwed up, as evidenced by me still being awake at 430AM  And sadly, I have no choice but to be up at 730AM to get G off to school and then head immediately over to take care of gramma. I think it's time for me to stop with the coffee for a while or switch to decaf (blech) for a while, and I would like to get Jon to do that too, however he gets such horrible withdrawl headaches that I don't know if I can do that. Hoping that maybe this weekend we can stay up all night or something to try and reset our sleep clocks so we're so tired we have to go to sleep and try to stick to a schedule. He was doing pretty good for a while but then he would fall asleep for a few hours and be wide awake, even after taking sleeping pills. I don't understand it, but I sure hope we can figure something out soon cause this is really taking a toll on our health. Been trying to find anything around the house and in storage to try and sell but not many are buying right now. Get lots of looks at the stuff but no takers, even after reducing the prices multiple times. It's getting very discouraging. Jon has been trying to find a job but absolutely no interest at all, even with the new amazing resume we created, he's so discouraged. He's always been able to get a job within a few days, if he wanted to and with no one even calling or emailing him back, I think it is having more of an impact on him than he will admit. Praying that something turns up soon, even if it's part time or temporary, I desperately need him to feel like he's contributing and doing something to get him out of the house in some way. It's making his depression so much worse, to the point his meds aren't working any more. Trying to get him to call his other Dr. and get a referral for over here, as he desperately needs to get some issues taken care of and maybe get his meds changed or increased but by the time I usually get him awake and alert, it's always too late. Gotta figure something out, something's gotta give, not sure what but it needs to be soon cause it's all really taking a toll on me too and with class starting up yesterday, now I have lots more to keep me busy and to worry about. I just wish I had some answers or ideas, this not knowing how things are going to go from one day or hour to the next is really hard to deal with.
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