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Welcome to my (sometimes upsidedown) world
by Garret's mom

previous entry: Excited about the new adventures coming up

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Jumbled muddle of thoughts today

02/07/2012

whatever I was going to write has suddenly flown my brain due to a stupid email from the school about financial aid. I wish they would all just get on the same page and that people would stop telling me different things. One person says I need to pay nothing, that financial aid and pell will cover it all, then another says $500 every 4th class and now they change their story to $2000 and say that the pell may not be granted and I'm like "What the hell" as if I didn't already have enough anxiety because I can't pay my monthly bill and they want me to dump my entire tax refund into going to school, what good would that do me? GGGGRRRRRRR (breatheeeee)

Depression and anxiety are really starting to get to me lately. The financial aspect and worrying about this major life change and then worrying about him worrying and my medical issues is soooo not helping the situation either.  I gotta find some way to get some of these issues taken care of cause I have so much to do and so little time to do it in and all I want to do it sleep right now or vege and dammit, I've gained some weight back again and that sucks, but the donuts sure tasted good and kept me happy for a little bit. bI just can't seem to get a break in anything right now and wishing things will change is not getting me anywhere but I don't have the gumption to get things done cause I start and get distracted and then get depressed because I didn't finish and it's a horribly vicioius cycle that I can't seem to break out of.

previous entry: Excited about the new adventures coming up

next entry: stupid weather

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I know what its like to feel like you have a million things to do and not enough time to accomplish all of it... so then you resort to eating a box of donuts because they make it all better. Then you feel guilty that your pants don't fit quite like they used to! Haha Hope all works out for you- they're making some serious cuts to financial aid as if college isn't expensive enough.

[.Ad.Infinitum.|0 likes] [|reply]

yes, exactly and seriously UGH on the financial aid cuts. I realize that a lot of people ride it and thus ruin if for those of us that are trying to make life work but I hope that something works out cause if I don't get an education of some sort then what use am I to the world? they won't give you a decent job without at least a bachelors anymore, it just seems like it's a no-win situation sometimes.

[Garret's mom|0 likes] [|reply]

Life is a giant catch-22. Being a good, contributing member of society is too expensive... then people wonder why education is failing and people don't push to achieve anything in life. Whats really the point other than the fact that we're supposed to? Sometimes I think those that don't bother trying to live their lives the "right" way are probably much happier than those of us that do.

[.Ad.Infinitum.|0 likes] [|reply]

yes, it does seem like that often, and today for sure it does, thanks so much for your comments

[Garret's mom|0 likes] [|reply]

Yeah.. after talking w/mom and (neighbor good friend) Pat I've realized that I did the same thing I did with dad's death. I threw myself into taking care of everyone so I didnt have to deal with it. Pat and I were reading over the final report last night (he's tech a lab tech who was forced to be a pathologist during his deployment) and he stopped me mid-reading and asked me how I was doing... no one had asked me that... It all came flooding out.... all of it more then I realized was buried there - a lot more

[Meghans FollieStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Bev - Jas is gonna try to talk to him but he's swamped with school and trying to get the paperwork done to bring Bernielyn over. We talked a little bit last night tim and I...

[Meghans FollieStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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