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BumbleBee's Diary
by BumbleBee

previous entry: life's a bitch.

next entry: NC is where my heart is.

fuck it.?!

06/04/2009



unaware that i'm tearing you asunder.

so this is something i'm still angry about though it has been three years and so many things have changed. when i was a freshman, i met this boy right? and basically i thought he was "that boy" and we would be "together forever" and all that shit. well shit is exactly what it was because between me completely making my world revolve around him and letting him in so deep that it hurt, it never meant a goddamn thing to him. he may or may not have cheated on me because i have never known the truth but it was the lowest time in my life when he dumped me.
to this day, though i dated someone for two years after him and now i'm unconditionally in the love with my future husband, when i think about "that boy" i get so angry and i just wish i could look him in the eyes and scream my heart out. i'm still so pissed off for the way things ended and for the way he is now. my biggest question though is, why?
i have done so much since him and learned so many things. and they say you never forget your first love but it's not like that because i'm not sad anymore, i'm pissed the fuck off.
any person would be if a relationship they truly believed in was a complete lie.
i guess i'm just trying to figure out how i can still be so angry about this when i hate him so bad and i'm happy with who i'm with now. GAH!


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previous entry: life's a bitch.

next entry: NC is where my heart is.

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You never got the closure that you needed, but you don't have to talk to him to get closure. You have to forgive him for what happened. As long as you're holding on to that anger, you've not forgiven him - and the anger is only hurting you.

[~*Jodi*~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I agree with jodi - you have to forgive him. You were both very young, and us lads mature slower, and don't get emotionally attached as hard sometimes - we just go with the flow, and forget that we might be hurting the other person. I'm sure he didn't MEAN to hurt you, although I know that doesn't make it any easier but it might help you to forgive him if you think of him as an emotional retard

[all.is.vanityStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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