My Miscarriage

01/15/2011

Last night around 7:45PM I found out I was pregnant, and at the same found out I had a miscarriage. I'm 17 years old, and i never intended to have have sex EVER, but I did. I never intended to get pregnant, but i did. I had a purity ring and I dedicated my life to Christ. I never wanted anything to happen like this. At least not this way. I wanted to wait till marriage, and proudly have a baby. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother so badly, and be a housewife. That was my dream and it still is. I have lost something dear and special to me and I can't bring it back. I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl. If it was a girl, well I have to have about a thousand kids. I have so many names for girls that I love. The same thing goes for boys, if I had one. I mean I had a lot of miscarriage symptoms, the over amount of bleeding in the first trimester, the intense cramps that they make you fall over in tears or you loss your breath from, grayish (fetal) tissue coming from the vagina. Plus I drink a lot of caffine, that not big of a risk, but it is still a risk. My family has always had problems with pregnancy and birthing a children. I took an ultra sound and it showed me what the fetus looked like. If I would have never had sex this would have never happened. I wish I could have done something to have that fetus still alive and in me cause it would be mine and I would love it forever. But I will always be sorry that I lost it, because It was my fault. I hope it never happens again when i am married because it is making me fall to bits.