wishing, dreaming, writing
by iamnotyou_81

sittin, thinkin, wishin

04/10/2011

well once again i have been staying with my aunt due to medical problems. i sprained my lower back and right knee so i've been on crutches for a few weeks. i can't make it up stairs and there are no more rooms on the main floor, so i've been sleeping on the love seat/ottoman in the living room. it has been getting harder and harder to live here. my 17 year old cousin has such a bad attitude and is always complaining about one thing or another. my 14 year old cousin is sick of her and complains about her being a bitch. i can usually deal with that kind of stuff, but not being able to get out of the house and do anything, even go for a walk, is starting to get to me. i'm starting to realize more and more how much stress i put on everyone when i'm here. i don't feel like family most of the time anymore. i feel like i'm just a visitor staying here for 2 days. i don't like the feeling of messing everything up. plus, my other aunt is going to be moving in here for awhile until she can get her place back or find a place to live. that is even more stress on the entire family. i almost want to suck it up and go back to my friend's house where i was staying. i can't make it up the stairs yet, but i would force myself to get up and down them. i don't even know anymore. on one hand i know there is nothing else i can do, i can't even find a job. but on the other hand i can't stand being a burden to anyone. that is what i feel like, i feel just like a burden on my family. my mom is still no help either. *sigh* oh well i suppose. i guess i make the best of it, stay out of everyone's way, and just deal with it. luckily i have my amazing boyfriend to help me deal with it, but he can only do so much. i guess it's time for me to go outside, sit in the sun, and do a lot of thinking. i just hope i can find a job soon. i can't stand not having one.

::end of story::