Is being overweight really that big a deal when it comes to matters of the libido? The story of Charlotte Royal, a "desperate" 300-lb. 21-year-old who shed over half her weight in order to lost her virginity, would certainly suggest so.

According to the article, Charlotte developed an unhealthy obsession with food after she graduated from school. Being shy, she would stay home and have dinner for one while her friends went on dates. "I was 21 and desperate to be loved and to enjoy the affection my friends were getting from men," she said.

When a blind date (whom she'd apparently deceived with a misleading picture) told her he preferred "slender" girls, Charlotte says she decided to start living like a "normal" girl.

After losing 180 pounds, Charlotte did the deed with a guy she met on vacation and has done it with two more since. She says, "Since I've become slim, I am more attractive to men. Sadly, that's the world we live in."

While we can't argue with the fact that we live in a looks-obsessed society, we know plenty of women of all sizes who have never let a few extra pounds stop them from getting active in the bedroom.

According to Charlotte, when she was heavy she "feared men seeing her naked and eventually stopped going out altogether." Sure, weight gain can take a toll on your self-esteem and energy levels, but that's only if you let it.

While the possible reason of hormonal imbalance which causes some people to be overweight does affect the libido, the biggest reason big people aren't as "active" in the bedroom is because they are too self-conscious about their bodies. If you find someone who loves you no matter how big you are, you should feel confident in their desire for you.

Weight loss only affects the libido when the person prior to the weight loss felt poorly about themselves and losing the extra weight makes them feel good about themselves again.

I'm a big woman. Have been for about 10 years. And I can tell you without any doubt that it has never affected MY libido. Well, that's not ENTIRELY true. I'm more sexual and enjoy it more and HAVE it more since I've gotten heavier. My libido has not been negatively affected by my weight gain.

I am a bigger woman too. I have no problem with my libido.

Likewise ;D

My man tells me all the time if I ever lose weight he'll be sad. haha.
He likes me being "snuggly" rofl.

I love that dork ;D

So.. she lost a crap load of weight..
And then slept with THREE guys.
All because they found her attractive as a "slender" women?

That's some crap.

lol

I think it was more the lonliness and lack of self-confidence that drove her to this. A LOT of girls think that the answer to those issues is attention from men when it's not. And as for the people that say that beauty is on the inside and you just have to find a man who loves you for who you are... that's true, but if this girl's self-confidence was at low as I think it probably was, there is a very slim chance she would have gotten any kind of man. I''ve been a skinny girl and I'm currently a big girl. And there's much to be said about the kind of self-confidence you gain when you finally like what you see in the mirror. No where in this article does it quote her as saying she did it to lose her virginity. It says quotes her as saying she did it because we wanted to be loved and wanted to enjoy the affection from men. The fact that she slept with 3 guys since doesn't really mean anything other than that she apparently likes sex. LOTS of women sleep with 3 men in a short period of time regardless of weight.

So stop knocking this girl, especially because I know that most of you girls that posted a reply wished you could lose weight too. And if you say you don't, you're lying to us and yourself.

you are right.

That's not the point Lori. OF COURSE those of us who are bigger would like to lose weight. But most of us in this thread who are bigger don't want to lose weight so men will find us more attractive, because we have enough confidence in ourselves that we know there are still GOOD men who DO find us attractive. We want to lose weight for our own health.

I look at myself in the mirror every day. And while I don't necessarily like everything I see, I still have the self-confidence in myself to not let my size dictate my sexuality.

And in most cases, contrary to what the article itself says about weight decreasing libido, the weight itself isn't what decreases the libido. It's the lack of self-confidence the heavy person has that decreases the libido.

I would say that probably at least 75% of women who have ever wanted to lose weight had "attention from men" as at least one reason, even if it's just a small part. And my whole point was that this girl didn't do that to lose her virginity. I guarantee it was for the self-confidence. And just because YOU are overweight and have self-confidence, doesn't mean that all overweight women do. I lie to myself and others all the time and claim that I have self-confidence, but when it really comes down to it, my self-confidence level now isn't even a fraction of what it was when I was bone thin.

And if women really had the amount of self-confidence that they like to pretend that they have, they wouldn't end up and STAY in such crappy relationships with men who don't treat them well 100% of the time. Any one of us who posted here can lie to ourselves about it, but deep down we all know there's some truth to what I'm saying.

Self-confidence in yourself regardless of your size is a bit different than self-confidence in yourself to deserve better (ie, crappy relationships). While sometimes they do affect each other, they are not necessarily synonymous.

That's a bit sad, that she's slept with three guys who evidently only like her because of her looks.
What ever happened to 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'?
I hope she's not going to become a slut now!

I agree with Lady Acid Fairy.
I've gained wait but I know that I'm still a beautiful person & it sure has hell has not effed up my libido.
Hopefully those guys liked her because of her confidence & not her slimmed down body.

wow i need re-read my post before posting them lol
*I agree with Lady Acid Fairy on "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
*I've gained weight but I know that I'm still a beautiful person & it sure has hell has not effed up my libido.

god i suck at typing
**it sure as hell has not effed up my libido

Oh whatever. I'm the biggest nympho I know.

I'll admit I haven't had as many options as other people I know, but I'm not the casual sex type, so it never mattered.

I feel sorry for that girl. I am overweight (granted its about half of what I weighed three years ago) and the guy I'm with constantly tells me how sexy I am. If I could find that with the kind of weight I carry, I'm sure she could.

All I have to say to you is CONGRATULATIONS on the weight loss!

hahah Ive been heavy all my life and I have the libido of a sex craved porno star!

I've always been fluffy and my guy loves my fluff and we have great sexy time!!!! lol

If I was 300lbs at 21 I wouldn't lose it for my libido or sex life, or even to look good.
I'd lose it so I could LIVE.

My fiance loves that I'm a bigger girl even when I'm not pregnant..and obviously we have sex...otherwise I wouldn't be having a baby lol In fact, we had some amazing sex for like over an hour last night...woooo baby!! haha

aww yay for your sex last night

I can understand when she is coming from. My doctor put me on these pills a couple of years ago. I lost over 60 pounds in 3 months because they decreased my appetite to where the only thing I would eat during the day was a small bag of chips and some drinks.

BUT, on the other hand, I lost my virginity when I was a "bigger" girl, and had my first real relationship after I lost all the weight. And even then I didn't feel loved. Given, I had a child, and I am struggling to lose weight, but I don't let it get me down that much.

You said that your doctor put you on pillls and you lost 60 pounds in 3 months. Can you tell me what these pillls are?

This bugs me. I understand that many men today claim to like thinner women, but it seems a little whoreish to say "I lost weight so I could get laid". It's not like every overweight 21 year old is a single virgin, you just have to find a man who isn't so superficial and likes you for the reasons you SHOULD like another person...like someone else said, what happened to 'beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'? She isn't going to be any happier if she just becomes a toy for guys to screw and forget about. At least she's physically healthier I guess.