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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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getting married to the family -- how to deal wit
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15 Jan 2009, 16:08
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
Hey
Im getting married in like 7 months -- im very VERY nervous my mom is alrady starting to dislike chris even tho before she liked him... i feel maybe cuz we moved into my moms house to save money for the wedding, cheaper rent and so on and catch up on bills, so i amalways worrying about impression esp to his family. i know they like me but they do have thier moments and im afraid if they start to dislike me and so on...

what is the best way to get a relationship with your in laws?
how to get the neices and nephews to feel you are a part of a family (theses kids are from 10 to about 16 yrs old -- my finacee is like the BABY, he is l15 yrs younger than the rest of his brother and sisters)

how to make the mother reali like you, feel for you...?

i dont wanna be pushed aside i wanna be sure im doing the RIGHT thing...

any advice will do!

thanks
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15 Jan 2009, 17:42
Let It Be
Post Count: 226
I don't think there is special trick or secret to having a good relationship with the in laws...I'm very fortunate that Matt's family loves me and I equally love them back. I'd say just be yourself, try to get involved with family things they do, etc. You can't force them to like you and you can't force yourself to like them, sometimes certain people just don't click and if that is the case all you can do is grin and bare it and be as polite and respectful as you can. I'd ask Chris what HE thinks you should do to get on their good side. As for your mom, maybe it's just HER wedding stress that's making it seem like she doesn't like Chris anymore. It could also be because you guys just moved in to her house. You can always sit down and talk to her about what her issue is and try to resolve it, tell her you don't want to start your marriage off on a bad foot like that. Good luck hun.
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15 Jan 2009, 18:02
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
he always says "ur fine" that isnt good enough...
when it comes to the point at one point one DID not like me... and sits there saying im fine im like wtf?1 she didnt like so basically i asked her daugher 2 b the flower girl was the one way got her to like me
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16 Jan 2009, 00:54
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
Unfortunately I think trying too hard might accomplish the exact opposite of what you're aiming for. Be yourself. You're there for him, not them - they're just a bonus if they love you, too. I always got on well with my mother-in-law, it was my father-in-law that took time. I've been with my husband 3 1/2 years, married for 6 months, and we just started talking on a normal basis (me and the FIL) a couple of weeks ago. The reason? Horses. We found something we have in common, and I hope it'll grow from there. Sometimes it just takes politeness, patience, and time.
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16 Jan 2009, 03:54
Ash77
Post Count: 59
I agree with Lauren, be yourself. Politeness is always important.
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16 Jan 2009, 04:14
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
yeah what lauren said. though you shouldn't need them to like you. if they're assholes they'll still be assholes even if they like you.
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16 Jan 2009, 16:28
Let It Be
Post Count: 226
Ev, you mean you aren't going to be all lovely dovey with David's family after you guys get married!? ;)
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17 Jan 2009, 01:06
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
haha ;D well not his mum and sister anyway :P
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17 Jan 2009, 11:01
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
I wouldn't try too hard.
If they aren't going to like you, they will find a reason anyway. And if you try too hard and it shows in the wrong way, then that will be the reason.

I got along with my inlaws for YEARS. These days when I need them to like me more than usual (I'm pregnant) they aren't so keen and I've done nothing to them or to give them a reason to be the way they can be at times.
Seriously... just be you. If they can't like you for who you are then that is their problem. As long as your hubby knows why he loves you, that is all they need.
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21 Jan 2009, 16:10
Michele
Post Count: 2
first thing is first be yourself. If they dont like you that is their problem, as long as he still likes you. I just got married and went through the same thing. It stressed me out so bad trying to make a good impression on everyone. He looked at me one day and told me to quit trying, that he loved me for who I am and that if his family didnt like me that was their loss not mine. Ever since then I havent been so stressed about it. and MOST OF HIS FAMILY LIKES ME THE WAY I AM! =D Ya never know. =D
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22 Jan 2009, 19:20
AddalynsMommy
Post Count: 2
i agree with michele. be yourself, always!! and if they don't like it then tough shi%t. i know that my mother in law doesn't care for me and i hate it, but i love my husband and i'll put up with whatever i have to, to be with him. just don't let them give you too much crap. some of the family will like you and some won't. we can't have it all! lol. good luck.
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