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Ellie's Diary
by Ellie

previous entry: Just a survey

next entry: New Layouts

Nineteen

06/15/2010




A proper update


Yawn...figured it was time for a proper update.

The weekend went great.

Kyle got here REALLY late Friday because he went from Work A (at the hospital) to Work B (him and his best friend do screenprinting shirts on the side) and then had to wait for someone to come pick up their order. I guess it was about 1:30 by the time he got here. We'd talked about him just waiting til morning, but, neither of us wanted to sleep alone, which was nice.

Saturday was busy busy. My Mom came by to take me grocery shopping (I had foot surgery and can't drive yet) and I wound up being late for my other plans for the day, which was a Premier Jewlery party a friend of mine was hostessing. Kyle went with me to that, was the only guy there but he had fun anyways I think. We sat around looking at jewlery and sipping Mimosas, which was positively yumm. I ordered two necklaces and a bracelet, and because I spent over $75, I got to pick out another peice of my choice for $10 bucks, so, I got a $78 bracelet. haha. Score! All in all it came to $104, but, I definetely consider them investment peices...they're all pretty timeless and things I'll be able to wear forever, and with the quality of the peices, they'll last, too. Yay!

We grilled burgers that night with my little brother, who was kind enough to babysit for us when we went to the jewlery party. Him & Kyle get along almost scarily well, it's pretty awesome. After I got the kidgets in bed, Kyle took AJ home, and then we were able to snuggle up and enjoy each other's company. Thanks to Mother Nature's unreturnable "gift" that's about all we could do, but, it was nice. Kinda torturous, but, nice.

Sunday we woke up to a hell of a storm. Kids & I got up and Kyle was still sound asleep, so, I tried hard to let him sleep cause we'd been up late and had been busy and let's face it, he's NOT used to waking up as early as the kids & I do. haha I got the kids pacified with breakfast and went back in to try to snuggle up with him for a few just to feel his arms around me a bit longer, and he pushed me away - I got out of bed, thinking he was mad at me for something, and when he woke up to go to the bathroom, I made him a cup of coffee....he went back to the bedroom to get dressed and I followed him in, gave him his breakfast and his coffee, and went back in the living room with the kids. Went into the kitchen to do dishes and he followed me in like wtf? I told him what happened and he had been totally passed out, had no idea. Said he'd had a dream that Gabby came in the bedroom and was crawling on him, which, I assume was probably what spurred it. A bit later, Alex said something to me about my Dad, and it totally spurred a full on bawling fit. I went into the kitchen, trying to not have anyone see me cry, and I did fine until Alex came in to ask me to get him a cup of milk. He saw I was crying and went in and told Kyle, so then him and Gabby and came in, as did Alex, and they all held on to me while I had my cry. It was honestly pretty sweet, even if it did defeat the purpose of going in there.

We didn't do much on Sunday....Alex earned his new movie, so he wanted to watch that, and since Kyle and I hadn't seen it in ages, we all sat down and watched it - Jurassic Park. Alex absolutely LOVES it, and is determined now that when he grows up he wants to be a palientologist. Which is really cute coming from a 4 year old. After watching it, Alex and Gabby and Kyle spent about 3 hours pretending to be velociraptors in the living room...Kyle took a break to help me cook lunch (he manned the grill while I cooked inside) and then after everyone ate, he was back at it with the kids. Too damn cute, really. We grilled petite sirloins and roasted corn on the cob, and I made potato salad and mac & cheese. Everyone ate great! I usually ahve to battle with the kids - especially Gabby, she's had ZERO interest in food lately, but, it went great! I was SO happy. Unfortunately by dinner time it was back to being a battle though. Grump!

It rained almost all day Sunday...my road was under water. Kyle talked about just staying til this morning and leaving then, but then decided around 1 that he should probably go home. Made him promise to turn back if the road was too bad, but, lucky for him/unlucky for me, it was clear enough to get through.

I really think I love him. He's got a serious aversion to the word, which he has told me, and even explained some on Sunday, but...ugh. I really think I do. I wish I could tell him without it making things uncomfortable for either of us. I've always been one for being really open about how I feel about everying, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, but, I'm keeping myself from doing it now. He says he's happy to be with me, that he's content, but that he just "Can't" feel head over heels anymore becuase it's hurt him bad enough in the past. I've gotten hurt, too - badly. But, I try not to hold other people's mistakes against the person I'm with now. He said that love gets thrown around too easily, that to him, love is an old couple that wipes each other's asses because they're incapable of doing it themselves, that it's continued care and contentment, but, I think there's more to it then that - if doing for someone what they are unable to do on their own, the love a person feels for their partner would be no differant then what a mother loves for her child - there's more, it's differant. Wildly differant. Knowing how he feels about the words, I'm not going to say it until he does. I'm going to just continue showing him through actions and hope that, maybe, I can show him I'm not the person in his past that hurt him. I'm not her. I want him to be happy.

Anywhore...I suppose that probably doesn't make much sense to anyone, I'm just kinda all over the place today....that's my weekend in a nutshelll...
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RYC: LOL, thank you. I have a second list to go with it...sort of an honorable mention list.

And yeah, they didn't do an amnio for us. truthfully not sure I would have wanted to know for that long. I'm ok with how things turned out. In the end, she died peacefully and surrounded by family. It's hard...but we're dealing.

[Music God Of BloopStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Ryc: Lol agreed. I know she's excited that I'm having her help and everything, but I know what I want and I'm gonna get it lol.

[Becoming Mrs. BaileyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Yeah, I'm gonna be posting the honorable mention list sometime in the next couple weeks. I have tons of new stuff to post. Unfortunately, it's time for my yearly Windows Re-boot. Not sure how that's gonna work out. LOL

[Music God Of BloopStar|0 likes] [|reply]

glad you had an awesome weekend! i happy you came back to bloop! i've missed you!

[His Brown Eyed Girl|0 likes] [|reply]

Diary added to your faves.
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