eadigteon's Diary
by eadigteon

friends?

11/06/2011

How many friends do you have?

I always kind of thought I had friends. People I could talk to about things, do stuff with, laugh, cry... you know.
But then I realized that, most people might pretend to be just that, but never really are. They appear to be your friends as long as it serves them, then they tire of you... or of part of you, at least, and bite you in the ass as soon as it suits them or your baggage starts approaching par with your percieved value in their eyes.
The real friend doesn't see you in those terms, they don't bash you for voicing your frustrations or for crying. They don't turn their back on you. They take your feelings into consideration in their actions. They don't repeatedly ask for days off, knowing you will lose part of your weekend because of it, ruining your plans for that day. As a matter of fact, they won't take the day off BECAUSE it will put you in a spot.
They will buy you something to drink/eat/drool over/etc and never once even consider repayment of any kind. They do it because they want to share what they have with you. not because they want something out of it.
Friends don't talk shit about you behind your back and will go one further and defend you if someone else does.
Friends will contact you just to ask how you are doing.
True friends are the rarest of breeds, and most people tend to mislable Buddies, or whatever iteration of "Fair weather friends" you are fond of, for friends. I have news for you, they aren't friends. If they just take the good and cringe at the bad, they most definately aren't. Friends rush to your side during the bad, everyone else kinda goes "oh that sucks" or something similar, and leaves you to your misery alone.

So are your "friends" really that? or are they just... aquaintences with benefits?

Now I ask again... How many friends do you have? is it still the same amount as the beginning?
In the span of time that It took me to write this, and even in the shorter span it took you to read, I went from a few to one... and that one lives with me...

If you fared better... and you aren't fooling yourself... You are indeed the luckiest person I have ever encountered. And truth be told, I envy you.

previous entry: Step #2

next entry: the spiral

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Friends aren't perfect - generally they do hurt you sometimes, and you hurt them, but with real friends you work it out. You apologise, talk through your feelings, get a deeper understanding and respect for each other. A friend who never hurts your feelings, never does anything wrong, is as fictional as Santa Claus.

[LADY PUCK Star

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Our 'friends' always seem to take advantage of our giving nature. At leasy we're racking up karma points by constantly helping them out. I don't expect any return on it. But especially when it comes to lending money and hearing the "Don't worry, I promise I'll pay you back asap," it's hard not to get angry when years pass and you finally realize that you'll never see it again. As for Hrlen, well, I'm glad you handled that how you did. She may not realize it now, but she hasn't treated you well. I'm sure you're the first person in her life ignore the batting eyelashes and bouncy boobs and tell her that enough's enough.