2. Party Food, anger and
Monday evening is the Phi Alpha Theta Christmas party/ Initiation ceremony (EDIT It is an Honor Society!), and as usual, it is up to the president (i.e. me) to get the food together, and of course, spend much of my own money on the event. I spent $50.00 tonight at Wal-Mart, which means I'll likely be selling my books back before I need to for some cash, but that's just the way things have to be sometimes. I know I complain more than I should about Phi Alpha Theta, but God knows that if it wasn't for that, I might actually fall prey to the depression that has been aggressively coming after me since July.
You know what I do not understand? Sha'Lane claims not to care about me at all, and that's fine. She made her choice in July, abruptly ending an 11 year friendship because she would rather spend time with someone twice her age (and mostly because that person will make her costumes any time she's asked). Despite that and not talking to me since July when everything ended, she has posted pictures of me and her on her myspace. What the hell? And she doesn't just label them "Morgan", but instead, they say DollFace and Morgy...WTF.
I was talking to my mom Thusday night about what I have been going through this year, some of which started in April and then escalated in July, and other parts that started in October. She says I should be over all of that by now. What do you say to that? So often I find myself sitting around, wondering how much longer I can prevent everything from falling in on me. I guess I do a good job looking happy though because even Ellie is surprised when I start feeling down. Apparently, the only person who knows how terrible I am feeling is Joey.
Anyway, gotta go get cookies out of the over.