Porn Stash

Ha, been there. Surprisingly, my boyfriend listens to me very well. I told him how much it bothered me, how the past has really effected me and if he ever wanted affection from me again, he'd either save it to watch with me or not watch it all. He hasn't looked at it in over a year - either that, or he's really, super sneaky about it. xoxo,

jessica;x♥

Porn is not always the blame for not having sex maybe there's something else - but id talk to him abt it my husband knows I was bugged when he looked at porn a lot before and he stopped. But I am sure he sneaks one or two here or there for porn but its not as bad as before *whew*

Good luck

ha this could so be me! but mine watches it on his phone lol

"We haven't had sex in a month."

That's the problem. Get over yourself, and you wouldn't be having these problems.

Anonymous Source

*like*

If your partner is touching you, I doubt it's because the porn "just isn't doing it's job". Porn is supposed to get you in the mood, not be a substitute for the act it's self. Maybe you're just not as comfortable with it as you thought?

I think it's pointless that the guys hide their porn. Isn't it better to be open about it than lying?♥ Don't Take Life Too Seriously ♥

Severus Snape

My man watches porn. But then again so do I. Sometimes we watch it together... but we're into different things so we usually don't. It doesn't bother me. Hell it wouldn't really bother me all that much if he fucked someone else, as long as I still have his love. To me, sex doesn't equal anything more than a tool to get off, like a vibrator or, well, porn.

who the hell still buys magazines these days? if you're in a relationship where porn is taboo, it's much easier to hide it on a computer.

masturbating to porn and having sex are separate things. i wish woman would get the difference. guys masturbate. it's a thing that they do. if there's an issue about sex you need to speak to them about it, because most of the time their jacking habits have nothing to do with why you're not fucking. they might do it more because there's no sex to be had, but it's not always the direct cause. most men will prefer fucking a woman/man than their fist.

Porn is addicting and it is unhealthy for relationships. I agree with you. He needs to stop watching the porn; especially if it is going to bother you.

queenbutterfly

O.o how is it unhealthy for relationships? Like what makes it unhealthy, in your opinion?

Well first let me mention that these of course are my opinions and beliefs and they are based off of my faith. (I am a non-denomintational Christian). I do not impose my beliefs on others nor think that everyone feels the same way; but I wanted to give some imput.

I am currently studying to be a professional counselor; One of the biggest issues we see in failing marriages is, porn. Porn addiction mainly starts with bits here and there from free porn ads. A lot of addicts say that they began looking at simple porn and then it turned into something extreme; once they looked once or twice they kept coming back until eventually it wasn't enough.

It doesn't help either that there of course are also thousands of free porn sites via the internet.

Once a man or woman is hooked it is not enough after a few months or even years of just browsing or looking at these sites. Most addicts of porn will admit to feeling completely helpless like they need it; and yes, it starts with just a few looks.

After a while the addiction becomes too much and they want MORE. They want more of what they see, they want to experience the things and situations going on in the porn movies and will eventually start purchasing porn (leading to financial issues) in the marriage.

This is JUST the beginning of what happens when a man or woman grazes over porn. I'd be more than happy to answer more questions if you are interested.

queenbutterfly

Well i respect your opinion And i'll concede in that porn addiction is a serious matter. But...only for the addicted and those directly affiliated with the addicted. My boyfriend looks at porn. He's got a big ol' stack of nudie mags, and a couple movies. He's not addicted, though. Sometimes i'm too tired, or just not in the mood, so he'll go look at his nudie mags. Frankly i'd much rather him look at some girl getting rammed on TV than go looking for it elsewhere. I think it's pretty circumstantial, in the same way some people can drink socially and never really think about it, and some can't function without a drink.

I absolutely understand what you are saying. The problem that we mainly see is that porn is the start of looking elsewhere. Because looking online/tv becomes not enough for some.

However, the first thing we encourage and discuss is how both partners feel. It seems as though you and your boyfriend are both comfortable with your arrangement so in your relationship it works beautifully!

queenbutterfly

I don't understand. Doesn't he have the internet?!

I always felt the same way about my boyfriend... my boyfriend's computer was slow, and over half of his hard drive was porn or pornographic pictures. His mom and I were cleaning his room and found his stash of playboys and porn videos that his mom said he must have STOLE FROM HIS DAD because his dad was missing them!! GROSS! He doesn't look at it anymore, not when I'm around anyway, but it doesn't make me feel better because he's not playful anymore either. Sometimes I wish I had the porn and my old boyfriend back. But I completely understand.

Men jerk off, that's just a fact. Any who say they don't are lying or super religious. It doesnt mean they dont want to be with you. Most guys will jerk off even if they are having sex a few times a week. Men produce a lot of sperm, and it really is GOOD for them to release it everyday.

I must admit, I've never really understood why women have problems with their men watching porn. I watch it more than most guys, probably. XD I don't see how it means they're not as into you or anything. People get themselves off - and they need stuff to do it with. Porn is just a source. =\ I think most people just use it as an excuse when they're having problems in their relationship.

grandlinegirl

In my opinion, intimacy is more important in a relationship than sex. There will be times when one or both of you are too tired or too stressed to want sex and when that happens the porn serves a useful purpose to the person who needs the sexual release. But as long as there is intimacy (cuddling, communication, sharing quality time) then the porn shouldn't become too much of an issue. As for why he hoards it, well maybe he's a pack rat? It's possible that it's becoming a compulsion if he's acquired a huge stash in the span of a year or so, but honestly if he were looking at all of it his penis would be one huge blister!

And BOOM goes the logical dynamite. +10 internet points for dreams.came.true.

you should try to incorporate the porn into your sex life...sex should be fun and porn just adds to it, it doesn't have to hurt your sex life!

Cass