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LoVeLy.LeSbIaN.
by br!na

previous entry: Pregnancy....??

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Tired of Hiding who I am!!!

12/09/2010

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<3 <3 <3 <3


Melissa and I used to live together in Alabama. She wanted to be close to her sister and niece and nephew. So we got an apartment there. After a year, I was DONE. I didn't know that living in Alabama meant hiding who I am.

Melissa's sister and her husband don't like gay people. In fact, they don't like many people. If you're not white and straight, don't expect to be accepted. And their 2 kids act just like them. They are raising them to be closed minded. So Melissa and I couldn't act like we were a couple anytime we were around them. If we went to her sister's to hang out, we had to stay on opposite sides of the room!!
Plus, her sister hated me. She was always trying to get her sister away from me. She even went as far as telling Melissa I was going to kill her in her sleep when she found out that I am Bipolar. Yeah, she hurt my feelings time and time again. and FINALLY I convinced Melissa that I just couldn't do it anymore. So we moved to Kentucky.

Now, Mel's sister bought her 12 y/o daughter, Kimberly, a cell phone, gave her mel's number and then mel, in turn, gave her mine. I have been very nice, never saying anything about my relationship with her Mimi [Melissa]. She knows that we live together, but has been told we are just really close friends. I have not told her different as it is not my place to. But now, Mel's sister has allowed Kimberly to get a facebook. And of course, she requested Melissa to be her friend. Melissa told her the internet was messed up right now, so she can't accept her until we get that fixed. Then she told her sister that her page says she is married to me, and she IS NOT changing that for her!! But she doesn't want Kimberly to find out online. So she wants to just tell her. Her sister refuses.

This morning when I get on facebook...I have a friend request..from Kimberly. So I go to her page, send her a message and tell her.... I cannot accept you as a friend until you talk to your parents!!

I'm hoping that will make Kimberly question everything and not let it go, and they end up having to just tell her, as we want them to do. am I wrong??





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I don't think what you're doing is at all wrong.. I think what her sister is doing is wrong.

You two are married and are actively trying to have a baby.
What is her sister going to do once you get pregnant and the baby is referring to both of you as it's parents? I'm sure you aren't going to refer to Mel as your baby's "Mel"? Right? So ugh. =\ I hate people who are so close minded that they shun other people's happiness for their own. It's selfish and inconsiderate as all hell.

I would've done the same thing as you, and if I were Mel? I'd be telling my sister "You cannot expect me to live this lie forever. She's 12 years old, she's old enough to understand. I can't keep lying and hiding it from her."

[*-.Stephanie.-* Star|0 likes] [|reply]

I think it was over stepping your boundaries a little bit. You should allow her parents to tell her if they choose to and just not accept her friend request, tell her its nothing to do with her, just you wouldnt want people on your page to say things that are too mature for her to see and have to deal with her mom and dad over it or something.. But putting it in her mind that there is something that she needs to be asking about is just going to cause Melissa's sister to get upset, she just seems like that sort of person from what you are saying and I think it will cause more drama. You have every right to be who you are, and if they can't accept that then they can't force you to change that. If she doesn't want her kids knowing about thier aunt then they need to not be allowed on her facebook, not force you guys to change yours.

[Mommy2Brycen+1Star|0 likes] [|reply]

Im sorry u guys are going through this. It's awful and I will never understand why people care what other people do in their own bedroom. I would be pissed if I were you.

[*-.Stephanie.-* Star|0 likes] [|reply]

screw her sister! you shouldnt have to pretend your something your not! if she dont like it.. too bad! she can shove it!
i truely beleive EVERYONE deserves happiness & love and treated with respect (until they loose my respect) no matter if they are gay, bi, or straight.!
love ya girl

[♥ Mrs. Mommy|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Yeah I deffinetly understand that, what her sister is doing is wrong. Some people just can't accept those things, my grandma was furious when she found out that my aunt was a lesbian and it took her a long time to come to terms with it, but now she just pretends like it isnt true and if anyone mentions anything about it she hushes them up really quick. Its not fair that because one person doesnt like a lifestyle that they would try to shut down another person. My comment was just from a parents point of view, if my son was older and someone had implied that I had 'more to tell' or something like that I probably wouldnt have handled it very nicely. And your wifes sister seems like she will make a big stink over it, which isnt fair, especially if the kids are asking, they aren't stupid and wont be able to be sheltered forever so the parents might as well deal with it now in a way that they want to explain is vs the kids getting older and you guys explaining or them finding out another way and that there parents were lying the whole time ya know!

[Mommy2Brycen+1Star|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: I think it would be really hard for her to have bad feelings towards Melissa after loving her as she is this long ya know?

[Mommy2Brycen+1Star|0 likes] [|reply]

No you are NOT wrong. Sorry this has taken so long for me to comment!! <3 My heart is with you and I'm wishing you and Mel the best. I CAN'T STAND close minded people. Your sister-in-law is totally wrong. Do you know it's been scientifically PROVEN that people are born gay? (

[mae_mcawesome|0 likes] [|reply]

i don't think you are wrong at all.
In fact, i think hiding who you are, what your relationship is & a HUGE part of your life just for the sake of some hurt/disappointed feelings is worse.
The thing with narrow-minded people is, they don't understand it or care to understand it until it hits close to home.
Most of my family was the most homophobic people you will ever meet.
My grandmother's used to tease each other and tell each other that if they didn't i would turn out to be gay.
But, when i came out, they took their time to come to terms with it & now all is well.
Joy came from an UBER religious family. She went to bible college & was raised so religiously her 37 year old sister has never had sex because she isn't married & even her parents got over it.
sorry if i rambled, i just see absolutely no use in hiding it & it grates on my nerves when other expect people to.
what happens five years down the line when you & mel have some kiddos & they are calling you both mommy? Is it then going to be expected that your role as their other mother be muted to make her family happy?
BAH
its a shitty situation, but long comment shortened, i don't think you did anything wrong.

[just samma;Star|0 likes] [|reply]

i dont think what you are doing is wrong.. its up to her parents to tell her not you. i would have done the same thing.. *hgus* let us know how it goes

[.Ban.Ignorance.|0 likes] [|reply]

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