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asdflaurenn's Diary
by asdflaurenn

previous entry: plleeeeeassee get nice outttt im collldd

next entry: mmmeeeeerorow

in this entry...i will toot my own horn

04/22/2009

so.. i saw jason when i was leaving the dining hall and i was sort of...walking behind him while he was getting food or something.
he didnt see me... so it wasnt awkward that i didnt say hi.

but i was goooing to.. until i saw him go up to some girl and like.. idk it just seemed like he was closer to her than a friend would be hah.

so i just sort of chucked my plates and left.

OK here is the part that might make you guys throw up but i dont even care.
im not really confident at all... but i act like i am in public, because nothing is more annoying than a girl who is like "OMG I LOOK SO FAT TODAY. COMPLIMENT ME BLAH BLAH"

BUT.....i feel like i deserve this and owe it to myself to say why im a great person.

first of all.. im least confident about my looks. i think i have a good personality. but anyway.. the girl i saw jason with...look plain and i feel like i was prettier than her.

so what the fuck is wrong with me??? HMMM???

i am the girl version of him.
maybe im not smart enough though.

its sad because i know he is still friendly, like he talks to me when isee him around and i know he doesnt.. NOT like me... he just doesnt want to hang out anymore i guess...

fuuuuuuckkkkk

im pretty kind of.
i dont have the best body.... at all....but i mean.. i have a big butt.....doesnt that count for anything? i dont think im fat anymore....which is a HUGE step. im at a decent weight. 130 on the dot

anyway...i dont complain
i go along with pretty much anything
i walked in the woods barefoot with him and his friend for an hour in the pouring rain so we could smoke. and didnt complain once.
im pretty logical
i liked when he spoke portuguese to me, becuase it was sexy
i always told him he looked good
i give the best dome...ever. dont question that.
im not a psycho girlfriend
i got along with his friends
i never pressured him about a relationship

hmm what else is good about me..

i honestly think i wasnt smart enough. not even kidding. he knows too much about me skipping most of my classes all the time.
ughhhhHHHHHHH

whatever.

friday...courtney and i are getting a couple 40's and sitting out on the lawn and smokin butttss all day and getting drunk
its supposed to be 75.
i have no classes on fridaysss

oh also, i have nice tits. and even though i sometimes dont believe it, i AM DESIRED BY MANY. so FUCK jason. i can find someone else....that is not completely against SEEING WHERE IT GOES> i dont even want a bf. but i dont completely cut out the option. my god. just see where it fucking goes.

i think when i get a little buzzed this weekend.. not drunk to the extent where im going to embarrass myself.. just when i get a little boozed up enough to have the courage..im going to text him and ask why we stopped hanging out. ill do it in a non threatening way though

guhhhhh im waking up early to go to the gym tomorrow

previous entry: plleeeeeassee get nice outttt im collldd

next entry: mmmeeeeerorow

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wow. just because he is with this other girl now doesnt mean that you wernt good enough or smart enough or pretty enough. it probably is just not the right time. there are other fish out there. and if you are all of those that you listed, then as soon as you get over jason, you can find someone who wants your time.

have fun smoking!!

and have fun at the gym

[&DearKrystle.|0 likes] [|reply]

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