No one ever said that joining two lives / two families would ever be easy, but it sure is filled with lots of complications and mis-communications and mis-conceptions and pre-conceived ideas and a whole heck of a lot of other stuff I don't really know how to put a name too. I'm not unhappy, but I'm more often frustrated than really happy right now. I know that in time most of these things will resolve themselves, but it sure is hard right now. Both of us having lived alone and being used to living our own seperate lives, doing what we want without having to answer to another person, it is quite challenging to me to not speak out every time he ruffles my feathers. We both have to learn to compromise and I really need to learn to speak up but most of all, I need to learn to speak up with kindness and patience and in a non-accusing tone of voice. I've already once hurt his feelings because of my outburst, when it could have just been handled by both of us talking to each other, sharing ideas and then working together, instead of him just executing his idea and then me finding my stuff all over the floor in a pile after he was already done. Yes, we both could have handled it differently. Not to mention that he seems my endless piles of clutter as garbage and wants to just trash it all. I had to explain that while most of it is old school papers, magazines, newspapers, etc., there are actually some really important bills and school grades and stuff mixed in with them all and thus, I have to go through them all, he just can't trash them, so he is very frustrated too. He wants so much to clean the house up and re-organize it but he needs me to do my part and right now I'm weighed down with homework and can't spend the time I need to to help him and he's getting very frustrated and bored and it's not good when he gets bored cause he gets sullen. He needs to be doing something and playing computer games is not a good substitute. I'm really behind in my personal homework, sacrificing my time to do the group projects because we all get graded on the work, not just me, so it's really important, yet my grades are suffering because I'm not spending enough time doing my stuff. I know some of the time I spend on facebook and checking email and stuff can be sacrificed, and I might just have to do that in order to get through this, but I'm so torn right now. Having just moved Jon in, I'm wanting to spend time with him, wanting to help him, wanting to help Garret adjust to him and wanting to clean, but I just don't seem to be able to spread myself around enough to satisfy all the demands on my time. I just don't know what to do right now. Maybe I'll have to start sacrificing sleep for the next few weeks until class is done and then catch up when I have my two weeks off. I don't know, I just can't think of any good ideas right now. All I know is that there is a constant underlying tension around here and I'm stressed and snappy and I don't like it one bit. I was hoping things would settle into a sort of routine, that we could get into a schedule and that it would make things easier on all of us but I don't think we have gotten anywhere near that point. Anyone have any ideas?
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