everything that wasn't even yours. | 03/13/2009 |
I'm weak. I gave in. I managed so well yesterday and I did well today until I got home. I just thought I'd text Grant and say 'Happy Friday 13th' and ask how is day was. Last month on Friday 13th he had a really bad day. So, he replied soon after I texted him and he's about to go on a date with a girl. Oh crap. I really did not need to know that information. He has now convinced himself that something bad will happen because I just reminded him of the fact it's Friday 13th! He reckons he'll get stood up or something..... lol. GAH! I really wish I had not text him because I didn't want to know he was on a date! Now the rest of my evening is going to be full of anxiety and it's only 7:30pm - I have a long way to go before bedtime, and Grant is out with a girl.
I need to text Jodie and tell her how much of an idiot I am for texting Grant. lol. ♥
Why does it even matter? I mean, I have a boyfriend! I really shouldn't be doing this to myself, but I just find Grant so irresistible. I've never met him and maybe if I did I wouldn't fancy him so much, would I? Do I even find him attractive or is it just the thrill and the excitement he makes me feel? He makes me feel so great and it kills me inside when I don't hear from him. I'm always thinking about him and what he's up to. I just can't help myself.
Now I have to wait another two days before I let myself text him first. GAH! I have to be good, I have to be better. |

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