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Non iam
by wugs

previous entry: So Many Things

next entry: A Good Day

Holy crap!

08/23/2009

begin.

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I went to a friend's birthday party today. Tonight, whatever. It helped remind me of why I'm in the closet. This goddamn HELLHOLE of a city is full of little fucking hypocrites and bigots that say all kinds of shit about a group of people when they aren't around. Little do they know, I'm gay. Lovely Arshy and my new babe Reilly weren't bad. (It was Arshy's birthday, and Reilly has ADHD and is really gay-friendly. Plus, she's like my fucking hetero-love, yo!) Arshy invited Daniel, a gay guy, who brought his "friend" Kendall, another gay guy. (I am almost certain they are more than that. And they make a really cute couple!) Anyway, so this party is a pool party (uhgg) and the gays ended up getting in at one point. AND EVERYONE ELSE FUCKING CLEARED OUT. (I had already been out for fifteen minutes or so with Reilly, who didn't get in at all.) I'm sorry, but WHAT? You can't catch teh gai. They won't BUTTRAEP the guys. Jesus. So they run to the pool house where I had gone and GOSSIP about the damn gays! I held in the bitchslap and just ran out to talk to Reilly. Which was healthy. She's one cool chick.

One of the little fuckers with them was my best friend. Well, okay, that leaves the wrong impression. Three guys, Daniel (there was one gay one and one straight one), Zac, and Dustin, led the conversation. Slaw, my best friend, sorta sat and listened (Dustin is one of her best friends and she has a major crush on Zac) with Jonny (my other best friend-ish, yeah confusing) commenting to himself as usual. Still, I was fucking outraged. As far as I know, she's pretty pro-gay. Then again, she might just be going along because of the friend+crush thing...no clue. Whatever.

Still, those three pissed me off to no end! They got back in the pool the second the gays left.

Plus, I felt like I was looking over all the guys I met today, yo!

GayDaniel had a cute face I guess, but meh. Not for me.
Kendall...whew, he was the gay I liked, yo! He was sweet as far as I could tell, and really cute!

And, you know, since it's a pool party you get to see the guys.

Zac is like 150% straight (totally insecure about some bisexual tendencies, I think), but has a rockin' BOD. The face...not so much. Does butterhead apply to guys? Seriously though, this kid is 15 or 16 with SIX PACK ABS! What the hell?! The face isn't the only ugly thing though, yo. This guy had, like, nothing upstairs. No clue what Slaw sees in his mind. She's a really smart girl. Gah.

I don't know why, but I do feel really, really shitty lately. I just...don't know. I decided not to come out to Slaw yet. It just ended up feeling sosososo wrong. T_T

end.

lithium layouts.

previous entry: So Many Things

next entry: A Good Day

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Oh shit, you poor thing. I hope you find someone you trust to talk to about it. It sucks to keep that shit a secret. I don't know. Personally, whenever I was straight-acting it really fucked with me. But some people find it easier. Just don't let it eat you up. It might be the reason you're feeling really shitty, even subconciously. Are there any gay youth groups around your town? Try having a look online, perhaps. Man I feel bad for you.

[an empty frame.|0 likes] [|reply]

Ahah, I just...wasn't really in the best time of anything, and it wasn't worth trying to keep this up.


The ex (he was the current at the time) was a complete asshole and watched everything I done, read everything I posted.
So, I gave up Bloop.
Sadday.



________________________________



Awhs.


People are that way where I live too.
I think it's just a general human thing to be ignorant and unaccepting?
I unno.

[The Secret Ninja|0 likes] [|reply]

Damn. Maybe there's something a few towns over. Usually you never hear of these things until you've been looking for it for years, lol.

[an empty frame.|0 likes] [|reply]

Remember that this is all coming from a straight girl, and it's mostly opinion anyway --

It must really suck having all of those homophobes for your friends. But, um, I know in some cases (not ALL, obviously) when the friends (parents, etc) find out that someone they are close with is gay, after the initial phase they start to realize that the person they know is still the same person, just "out" now... and they become more gay friendly. Not the best example, but Dick Cheney... with his lesbian daughter -- he's recently "come out" on the side of gay rights... okay that didn't really make sense.
Obviously it's your choice to come out when you feel you can do so.
Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm sorry that some of your friends are kind of lame RE: Gay people...
And I'm sorry that I probably just confused you with my nonsense-making comment.

Adopt one today!Adopt one today!

[Aubrey;|0 likes] [|reply]

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