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sheissuffering's Diary
by sheissuffering

previous entry: Letter

next entry: CWA

been doing a bit of thinking...

03/29/2013


I've been thinking a lot lately...about my own identity and other things...it was recently mother's day here in the UK, and this is the first year I've kinda realised that I'll never be a mother, and I'm actually ok with that...BUT, the way it's all constructed is like if you're not a mother, you are a second class citizen...like you're not good enough if you don't have kids! Obviously kids are great but I could never imagine the family life for myself. Which leads me onto another thing, 'family' ...I'm 27 and a huge amount of people I know from school are married with a kid or several kids...and of course you get the 'proud parent' posts on facebook etc, and I'm truly happy for those who have found happiness in that; but what about those of us who feel like we'll never live up to life's expectations if we don't have a family? I feel like I've only just gained my independence back and the thought of having it all taken away to be a child's parent forever...I couldn't handle it :| Obviously the answer here is, don't have kids which I certainly wouldn't do, there's enough kids out there who are resented by their parents without adding to them..

Hope that doesn't offend anyone but just rambling!

I made a promise to myself I would email my mum tonight and start the ball rolling...not gonna just out myself straight off, but want to tell her that I need to speak to her. I don't want her to ring me though as I don't think I could say it over the phone...Need to get myself together and do it...I'm getting way too stressed




previous entry: Letter

next entry: CWA

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Ours is an odd age isn't it, it's a split between those with families and those without, ie the settlers and the non-settlers! Would you not want to adopt? If not then fair enough, I think we're all "families" whether it involves babies or not!
xxx

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