(please, dont read more into this than friends)
There is this former blooper who I have been friends for since 2003.
She is 20 something, she lives with her bf, she's a hard worker and is trying to figure out where she is in her life... I'm getting ahead of myself, I digress.
Just like many of you who have been reading me for years, I have helped her through some dificult times and she has helped me as well.
It may just be bouncing ideas off each other or me just sending a poem to her or her describing her latest drawing and the meaning behind it...if there is any.
In the last few years, since she stopped writing here, the comunication between me and her has been much less but still very meaningful when it does occur.
She had sent the below message via FB messaging .
I’m going to paste the entire convo.
her: jonathan, i just need to talk. I've been having a hard time lately and it's really draining the life out of me. I realized about a month ago that i'm in love with another person and that i'm not happy where i am at in life. this has been killing me. last night i couldn't sleep cuz my thoughts were everywhere...from my boyfriend to the other person to finding a way to kill out this gut wrenching pain in my heart...that just thinking of different ways to kill myself was able to help me sleep. jonathan, i need help...i cant shake this feeling at all. i'll be sitting wtih the bf and BAM! the urge to be with the other person hits me like a ton of bricks. what can i do? what should i do? *sigh* i'm sorry to throw this on you...but i don't have anyone else to turn to.
Monday at 5:28pm
ME: First, I am here and will always be here for you no matter what. I love you.
I would rather talk this out over the phone if posible so there is not the back-forth waiting and I can hear your emotions or teers.
You wrote about two topics. the first being that you are not happy where you are in life. So what spacificly are you talking about? your job? your career? that you are not married? etc? what is it?
This is something you seriously have to take time for yourself to think over. You have to be sure of a lot of things when thinking about this.
"does this person have simular feelings for me?"
"Is this real feelings? is it just a crush? am I just bored in my relationship and looking for something new and exciting?"
You have to remember that you live with your bf so you have to take that into account. Even if this person has the same feelings for you, will they let you move in? will it work out if you do move in with this other person? if you have to live on your own for a bit, can you do that? mentally? financially?
do you have skype? we could talk that way as well.
*holds you really tight to me*
Monday at 6:20pm
HER: i have skype, but i'm at work. i'm just not happy in general. bf and i fight a lot, the house we live in is falling apart (and live wtih his mom which adds to the stress) i feel like i cant do something without getting yelled at about it. i like my job...but it's just not what i wanted...that and my ex keeps pestering me about having a kid...which is the one thing in life i truely want. i'm just a mixed bag of confusion. i dont want to leave my bf now, i do love him, but i dunno...i just don't know. i feel like i need a retreat, just me alone. *shakes head* i dunno...that's all the answers i have. i just don't know anymore.
Monday at 6:34pm
ME: that sounds like even more q's than answers. *hug* what time do you get off from work? I was on skype looking for you, did you know there are 12 people with your name on there? lol You should come to boston! for a "retreat" we can go to all the musuams anda baseball game and stuff. hehe. *hug* love you and we will figure it all out. You have a lot on your plate and I am glad you came to me, one person shouldn't bare all you are baring right now.
Monday at 6:47pm
HER: is your cell number still the same?may be easier for me to call you tomorrow.
Monday at 9:35pm
ME: yup, I'm working tomorrow, leave for work at 3 and get home about 7 and then dinner, so anytime before 3pm or after hmm about 9. and just in case, although I have had the same number since 1997, ***-***-**** or tonight. you know I'm up till 3AM lol
Monday at 9:44pm
HER: lol that's true. dunno if i'll have time tonight to call. but tomorrow i may be able to.
Monday at 10:03pm
ME: *holds your shoulders* no "maybe" you need to talk 
I'll keep my phone near me and on. I also have no plans at all for wednesday. (woo go red sox! ... sorry, they just won ) so when ever you want, I'm here for you babe
Monday at 10:12pm
HER: thanks jonathan. i'm feeling a bit better so i'll be ok. *hug*
Monday at 11:13pm
ME: I'm concern about you. call me just to talk in the next few days. You have a lot going on and you need someone to listen and problem solve with you.
Monday at 11:20pm
HER: i'm ok.
Monday at 11:21pm
ME: no you are not, but I cant make you talk. if you have any negative thoughts, call me. I dont want you to do anything stupid. and one thing I was going to say on the phone... what about going away for grad school? that would be an educational - career retreat? I looked at the college you had mentioned he other day in Arizona, I dont see where it has what you want as far as a degree? but I do think it would be a great time in your life to think about that.
Monday at 11:27pm
HER: *hug* i have been thinking about going, but i cant due to lack of finances. And not really feeling the whole taking out more loans. I'm doing better today, but if i need to i'll call you. i may have time later on this evening. *hug* thank you for everything
Tuesday at 1:37pm
ME: *hug* stupid colleges wanting money. I always believe health care and schooling should be free like in so many other countries around the world. Raise the taxes and let's get smarter and healthier.
Having negative thoughts is one thing, heck, I absolutely hate where I am in life, a 4hr job a week, living with my parents, no gf, and I dont see a way out of any of this.
But I think you just need someone to bounce thoughts-ideas off of. *hug*
So maybe we can figure out each others lives lol
I'm getting ready to go to work. I'm always here for you. xoxox
Tuesday at 2:34PM
I had just finished a snack, BBQ chips if you were wondering, and was a foot from the kitchen’s door way when my phone wrang. I knew it was HER.
She has this voice that I can only describe as angelic. It’s sorta mysterious in a soothing way. I never heard a voice like hers before. It is a voice that I could sit and listen to all day long and honestly, can not imagine her crying.
We said our HI’s and we just talked about everything, all the issues she had. We talked about her bf situation, her living situation, her work, her career, her finance situation, how she is not happy and what it would take to get there and we bounced thoughts and issues back-forth. I also told her how I feel stuck where I am and we went into that as well. She giggled some and smiled, knowing I can do that much for her, puts a huge smile on my face.
I had brought up the first time she had ever called me. It was just after the stroke of midnight on New Years of 2006, when my twin was in tampa. I told her how I remembered that I had a bottle of wine in my hand that my sis in law (well, eventual sis in law) handed me and I popped the cork over the rail of the portch and screamed “HAPPY NEW YEARS!” and screamed repetedly lol. Then I got a phone call, of which I answered it “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” this angelic voice said “HI Jonathan, happy new years. it’s (her name) from bloop” I literallly stopped myself stonecold to comprehend what this angelic voice just said and when It clicked, I was shocked and she giggled. She was with her friend Heather when they called. … and I remembered all that and relayed it all to her. She said “you got a good memory” I said, I always did. Then we tried to figure out what year it was. (I cheated when writing this, I emailed Lindsay and she said it was 2006, the last year they were in TB)
She said that she had to go, she was going to head home now. (she was at work) She thanked me “for everything Jonathan. Thank you” I thanked her for calling and even though I have written it to her I said to her “I love you” she said “I love you too Jonathan”
And we promised each other that if we need each other, to call and we said our byes.
***
You've got a friend in me
When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Girl you've got a friend in me
Yeah you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You got troubles and I got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together, we can see it through
'Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
Some other folks might be a little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them
Will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you girl
And as the years go by
Our friendship will never die
You're gonna see it's our destiny
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
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You sound like an amazing person to have as a friend! 
you are a good friend