Not ur girl <\3

07/13/2014

Friday while I was at work Roman texted me, he wanted to hang out when I finally got off work. I hadn't talked to him until he got back to me. I had called and texted him because I thought about it and there's no reason why I should be in the dark about the status of our relationship. When I got off I called him to make sure we were still on for the night. I took a shower and changed from my work clothes and went over to his house. We went out for Thai and then we went to see Dawn of the planet if the apes which was an awesome movie! Things felt easy and comfortable, and I almost forgot that I wanted to ask him how he felt about us but I was reminded when we happended to run into some people he knew, some people that I haven't met. 2 SHE someones. His whole attitude switched, and I was right back to feeling insecure. When we got back to his house we had a few beers and he started with the touching and kissing and as much as I wanted to comepletly give into him I stopped him as painful as it was and told him that I wanted to talk to him first. I knew that I was being a total girl but I just asked him if we were together or not. He then asked me what made me even ask him that in the first place. The way he sounded it made me feel stupid for asking like the answer was completely obvious until he followed up with why did we have to put a label on what was going on between us. He's not ready for a committed relationship. Like to him a relationship is not even where we're headed. I asked him why he didn't make this clear to me in the beginning, because acting like he was my boyfriend confused the shit out of me. I was calm while I was talking to him but I wanted to burst out into tears the whole time. He sounded like an ass, he wants to be single but have me around to fuck anytime he wants. I left and he didn't try to stop me. He's called me 3 times and he's been texting me all weekend, but I'm obviously ignoring him. I'm just hoping I haven't left anything important at his place or vice versa its hard enough ignoring him, if I were to see him I'd break down and open my legs right on the spot. Ugh this sucks. I really thought we had a good thing. I don't want to be some girl he just sleeps with until he finds the girl he REALLY wants to be with. Damn it I'd be an idiot if I did, but at the same time I really love spending time with him. I hate men and their piggish ways.