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In The Shadows
by Concrete Rose

previous entry: Stressed & Hoping This Helps

next entry: Might've worked

Anxious much?

01/21/2012

On Thursday when I wrote here I felt better than I have in a while. I didn't write in here yesterday and I felt worse. Hmmm.



So... Maybe what I'm dealing with really is from taking Yaz. Mom went online and looked at side effects when not taking it anymore, and she said a lot of stuff came up. People posted on a forum the exact same shit I'm feeling. Dizziness, emotional, anxious, etc. We called Aunt Sallie and she didn't know much about it. She said it wouldn't really be helpful to even talk to a OBGYN about it. Online it says that some people feel better after 3 months, but it can take up to a year for it to get out of your system. GREAT.



But yes... Yesterday I felt horrible. I've never dealt with anxiety before, and I think it really hit me yesterday. If I was talking with coworkers I felt ok because I wasn't focused on how I'm feeling, but if other stuff was going on I felt like I was going crazy. Mom and Dad went to Olean so I was home alone (with the dog) for like 3 hours and that was kind of making me go crazy, too. I went to Foxes to pick up my dinner and was only in there for a few minutes and I HAD to get out of there.



I probably should've taken one of those pills last night, but I'm afraid that something will happen to me if I take one. Anxious much? Maybe I will tonight because I don't work tomorrow. The only thing is that I can't take another one until after my tests on Tuesday. So if it makes me feel better then I have to deal with it until Tuesday night.



I gave in and sent Mark a txt yesterday. At first I wanted to be a bitch and ask why he's been ignoring me. But instead I thought about it and said, "Too busy to talk to me this week?" He said work has been crazy, which I figured. But he said he missed me, which just made me miss him even more. The only reason he asked how I was feeling was because I mentioned I needed to get more tests done. At least he asked, right?



Hopefully I can survive work today. I'm already feeling stressed about it. Thank God my week of vacation starts as soon as I walk out the door!


previous entry: Stressed & Hoping This Helps

next entry: Might've worked

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