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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: The pain of rejection.

next entry: No one can understand what it is like to be trapped inside your own skin.

Pain grips my body as tight as the fear does my heart.

10/15/2016

Trapped under this fake skin I am, from within. Forced gasps of air from battered lungs. Breathing in becomes the danger, from without. My only hope seems so far away. Pain grips my body as tight as the fear does my heart. Once so lovely and fresh as spring roses, dripping with dew, my fragile frame, who is this gargoyle demon from hell that stares back at me from the reflection in the mirror this time? They have taken my flesh and twisted it until I do not even know my own face.
I can no longer feel my skin, I am trapped within. Underneath a twisting, churning sea of my own skin. DNA upgrading but to what? Hurling me towards my own death, day after day, tightening, frightening around my heart.
Fingers dragging along my spine, but from inside, their creepy talons lingering along my flesh, violently scratching it, making me full of the sores of the dead. My mind in a vise grip, my body mangled and left for the dogs, bugs invade a living corpse, who would have thought? A literal ticking time bomb I have become. LITERAL. No way out. No amount of pleading with them to stop makes any bit of difference. They are on an automatic mission to turn me into the monster I always feared that I was.
What can save me from this end? Nothing but the blood of Jesus. And some days, I am afraid that He won't bother with saving me. Too many children die as it is. Too many ' good ' people get killed every day why would the Lord of the Universe bother with my life? But I still have to trust in His love. It is the only way out.

previous entry: The pain of rejection.

next entry: No one can understand what it is like to be trapped inside your own skin.

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