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bear with me
by Aubrey.

previous entry: monday, monday ~

next entry: aubrey is unstable

another week

02/08/2014

I have my bus tickets
I'm going to Montreal, bitches, and I'm gonna see my girlfriend and everything's gonna be awesome!

My mom helped me pay for them, and I'm gonna pay her back, because she kind of gave me a little guilt trip "Everybody wants my money". I mean I hugged her and I told her thanks, but I haven't explained to her why this is so important to me.

She has sort of met Ana over Skype, but it was just like, I was on my mom's laptop because she has a good webcam, and she came over and said Hi, and said "This is the German?" and Ana goes "yeah, I'm the German." and kinda giggled. But my mom doesn't know it as anything more than friendship -- she might have an idea, but she's never asked me. And based on past remarks, I'm not exactly forthcoming with details.

BUT at our last big family gathering, my mom's sister asked me if I was seeing somebody and I said kind of, and my mom goes "Well I didn't know taht" and I said "well it's not an official thing" and then the conversation was over and nobody really asked. I'm not at the point where I want to come out to anybody in my family. My aunt (the one who asked if I was in a relationship, actually) is gay, but it doesn't feel the same as me coming out? IDK, I can't explain, but my aunt gets treated like one of the boys, basically, but they still kind of joke with her about being butch and "manly" and there is an underlying current of, not necessarily homophobia but 'gay is weird, gay ppl are different' and I'm not *gay* anyway, I'm bisexual, and that feels more difficult to explain?

If I say "I am going to Canada to meet my girlfriend" there will be the "I thought you liked boys, I'm confused?" and "Why the hell would you date somebody you have to travel to see" and then IDK.

GODDAMMIT things are confusing.

Also I've recently gotten into writing more F/F fiction, though my main novel is M/M. I have some new characters that I'm getting a feel for and I kind of love them. One is a cop, Kerry (Irish-american) and the other, Helen is a robotics scientist. They were kind of a fling in high school -- Kerry as the straight-acting punk girl, and helen as the openly queer feminine nerdy type. And now Kerry is a bad/dirty cop and IDK I ran out of plot ideas other than "They make out/have sex a lot" ha ha anyway~

today at work I get to count inventory (I actually like doing this, IDK it's relaxing) and then we will see what the rest of the weekend brings....
Also Ana and I found out that she has Queer as Folk on DVD and I have it on Netflix so we can watch it together which is GREAT because we have such a hard time finding things to watch together -- there's never anything good on youtube (that's also available in her country) and her computer is slow to load things that we can watch through sockshare, etc.

anyway~ off to work i go. have a lovely weekend, all

previous entry: monday, monday ~

next entry: aubrey is unstable

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can ana use netflix? also, make sure you hav the same QAF, there is a british version and an american. not sure which one she'd be more likely to have in germany. such a good show tho.

[girlsetsfireStar|0 likes] [|reply]

She doesn't have Netflix, IDK if it's available there, but she says she's got all of the American version (that was something we belatedly checked, after we got all excited, lol) on DVD so ^^

[Aubrey.|0 likes] [|reply]

Yay for bus tickets, it's all coming together

[amyStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Families are SO complicated. But yay for having bus tickets!! I bet it feels even more real now. I'm excited for you! =]

I've never seen QAF but one of my close friends LOVES it.

I hope you had a good day at work!!

[once.upon.a.time.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

It's not exactly warm here either.... but I've got a lot of blankets that take care of that. Only issue with it is when I wake up and have to get out of the blankets. Lol!

And yes, sometimes just putting out there help free up a little bit of space. And then talking to people about it helps a little. I'm new to that though. I don't really open up to many people anymore.

[OurRibsAreCages |0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: monday, monday ~

next entry: aubrey is unstable

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