Ex Eman

02/18/2021

My ex Eman who I have written about here many times has Colon Cancer. I am like stunned and shock. He reached out to me like in October but I barely saw the message via fb messenger. And we talked yesterday he wants to meet up and make amends and apologize for the way he treated me. I appreciate it as it is now easier for me because I have zero feelings for him. But I have to tell Ryan. Eman does know I am in a relationship, I told him I can offer him friendship that is the best I can do. Our relationship was very weird and kind of one sided. I think he wants closure which is fine because we both deserve it. But I do feel bad that he has nobody to take care of him and he still has to work. I mean it is the human in me. Honestly I don't know wtf to do.
The weird thing is I had a dream about him a couple of weeks ago where he was lying next to me and he died. Fuck my life. I do not want to speak this into existence but he did confess to me today that he could end up like Chadwick Boseman. I mean I never want to wish death on anyone. Life as we are grownups can be so damn complicated. Ughhh!