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Writing is not only in your soul but in your veins
by Written.In.Blood

previous entry: Chapter Four:A Little Family History

next entry: [Short Story] The Gentlemen

Feedback

02/07/2010

I need your feedback Please answer them. This can be for were cat fic or Sonja fic. If you don't answer I will Not update them anymore.(meaning I'll Private this diary and it will only be for me) Beginning
The first phrase in a story should be like a hook that grabs the reader's attention and interest. Is this the case here? Do you want to read more?

Conflict
Can you see any conflict in the story? Conflict can be either inner-conflict or outer-conflict.

Inner conflict:
When different values, wishes and desires are at war within the character's own mind. These can be, for example: greed, duty, fear, lust, revenge and love.

Outer conflict:
When the longings/needs of different characters clash together.

Plot
Is the plot clear and believable? Do you get answears to all the questions that arise in your mind as you read the story?

Setting
Can you pictures the setting in the story? Are there vivid descriptions? Are all five senses, smell, sight, hearing and touch, used?

Character Development
Do you sympathize with the main character? Do you care what happens to her? Is she believable and seems "alive"? Does the author tell you what she does for a living, what her interests are, if she has family of friends and what she cares about? Does the character change during the course of the story or does he remain the same?

Conversation
Are the conversations in the story believable? Can you "hear" them? Is there enough of them? Are they used to push the story along? Do they describe the characters' attitudes and abilities?

Verbs
Is the author consistent in his verb use or does he roam between present tense and past tense? Could the author simplify his verb use? Are the verbs dynamic (powerful, descriptive) or are they neutral and don't really say much?

Adjectives
Are they neutral and descriptive or value-laden and general? Are there too many or too few adjectives?

Point of View
What is the POV in the story? Is the author consistent in its use? Is the POV working? Could another POV be better for the story? Should there be one or more?

Show, don't tell.
Does the author show you what happens, instead of telling you?

Layout
Is the layout of the text acceptable, making it easy tor ead? Does the author use paragraph breaks or is the text just a one big lump?

Moral Message
Is there a moral to the story? Do you feel that one character, or more, are in fact speaking for the author?

Language
What do you think of the language? Is it good? Is there slang or any words you don't comprehend? Is it too formal, or maybe not formal enough? Do you see any cliches? Is his choice of words good or are the same terms and words used over and over again? Does the author repeat himself?

Style
Is there a certain style of writing in the story? How do you like it? Is the style "broken" somewhere, that is, a part of the story written in a totally different style than the rest of the text?

Overall impression
What impression, if any, did the story have on you?

Spelling
Were there many spelling problems, any specific and recurrent? Did the spelling distract you from the story? Be constructive or you'll be blocked

Other

Any ohter comments or suggestions you'll like to tell me anything that is consrctive.

Yes I stole this from a website. Here

classic layouts

previous entry: Chapter Four:A Little Family History

next entry: [Short Story] The Gentlemen

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Sorry, hadn't realized I hadn't read in a while. I'll be back to read and fill this out later

[Arby's Fiction|0 likes] [|reply]

Ryc:

It's fiction

It's something I had posted last year and I decided it still needs a lot of work to it, so I brought it back to help me strengthen my writing in a style that I'm not use to

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

ryc:

Thanks! How long have you been writing?

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

I started writing in 4th grade and have written things here and there. I'm not the best at poems because I'm ocd about having them rhyme every other line XD

Just recently I had my very first really big accomplishment and participated in NaNoWriMo, winning with a total of 70K words and getting the novel self-published

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

haha I just put 2 and 2 together. You're Tara, right? It me, Wind Dove - Rachel's friend XD

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]



LOL I clicked on the personal diary to see if I knew them and I'm like, "I know that front page.. that's tara!" XD

Yeah, I added myself just in case there's that slim chance that I forget what I named this diary lol I don't think that'll happen, but just in case, you know?

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

lol how funny

So how are you? How is everything?

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Okay, just really busy with school and then home life getting thrown in it can get hectic sometimes. Glad to hear you're doing okay

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Yeah.. It'll probably take a little time before it doesn't feel so weird. You're a strong woman, I think you'll do just fine If you ever need to talk - I know it sounds weird coming from a stranger - but I'm here if you need some reassurance or just a laugh

[_Roxie_M.|0 likes] [|reply]

i got a blue scorpion. it was on my mind when i made this, thats why its my name. i can post a pic once i get one.

[.blue.scorpion.|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Chapter Four:A Little Family History

next entry: [Short Story] The Gentlemen

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