Today was a day.
I literally stressed about this doctor's appointment all day.
The doctor was great, though, and helped me talk through everything.
1st of all, he felt like the first thing we needed to consider was some therapy. Thankfully, there are in house therapist, so I am just waiting for them to call me to set up an appointment.
As far medication goes, we ran into a bit of a challenge considering that I have asthma, and take a daily asthma preventative medication. I am not 100% sure that this is exactly what he said, but the gist I got was that my asthma medication as well as any traditional medication they'd give are both beta blockers. And the anxiety medicine could interfere with the effectiveness of the asthma medication. And being as how you can literally die from asthma attacks, I'd rather not.
He gave me what he called a situational medication. Said I could take 1-2 pills daily when I feel like I'm in need of it. It's called Vistaril.
So, that's that.
David was the grumpiest grump when he got home from work today. Like, literally the worst. I used to take it super personal when he was that way, but I'm trying really hard to learn and understand that his bad mood is literally not my problem. So, I do what I can to try to make him feel better, but mostly, I let him know I'm here if he wants to talk, but I also refuse to take it personal if he doesn't want to. See, personal improvement on my part. Trying hard not to be emotionally dependent on other people.
David Paul and I took Tyson for a walk after dinner and when we got back David was in a better mood.
I really had forgotten how wonderful it is to write in a diary. It was such a massive part of my life for so long. I started out on The Open Diary (is that right?) way before I even met David. Moved over here when everyone did (wasn't there like a crash or something over there?). I wrote here throughout deployments and homecomings, pregnancy, deaths. Ups and Downs, silly drama. Its really nice to sit and write stuff again, and literally wish I hadn't of stopped.
Living in New York was such an emotionally charged time. I believe that literally everyone in my family including the kiddo was dealing with depression. David hated his job (but man, he was so good at it!). I had health issue after health issue. David struggled a lot with drinking and feeling trapped in everything...his job, our marriage, life. It was the most trying time in our marriage and we literally were headed for divorce. It was also fun as hell. We made some great friends, some of who we talk to on a regular basis and one family who even come to visit us occasionally. Plus, those trips into the city were pretty amazing. AND....this Southerner found her love of cold weather.
Colorado was nice, actually, aside from David being gone for a majority of the time. We had great neighbors that we hung out with all the time. OH, I took over position as Family Readiness Group leader for David's company. It was fulfilling, frustrating, and awesome all at the same time. I helped fund-raise and plan a military ball. That was an interesting experience. I made some great friends. Not even going to go into how incredible the scenery was. The mountains were incredible. We spent a week at a family summer camp in Buena Vista, where we went horse back riding a couple of times, I learned that ropes courses are for 10 year olds, not 35 year olds. We went white water rafting on the Arkansas River, drove Jeep Wranglers through the mountains to an abandoned ghost town, kicked ass at a family activity challenge (think, go here and do that, have them sign the paper and you get 10 points...who knew that remembering all 50 states would come in handy one day!). Drove up Pikes Peak, walked over the Royal Gorge Bridge, and went to concerts. Oh, and turns out I reallllllly love the snow.
It has been nice being in Georgia, despite the lack of snow. I randomly go visit my Mom on weekends. My sister and her husband have been down to see us twice. Plus, the sweetest winds really do blow across the south. We've been to Florida two times in the past year. That's 2 more beach visits than we did in Colorado! 
Well, that's all, folks.
-Miranda
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